Singapore – Malaysia Spat : War Is Not A Computer Game, Kids!


By: B. Goode

So the estranged lovers are at it again eh? Squabbling over who gets what. Get a room already!

But you guys should look at the reactions of some of our younger generation to this latest spat.







It was as if they were itching for the issue to escalate into a full-blown war.


But who could blame them? If I were to grow up fed by a constant stream of pixels and avatars fighting in a world of make-believe where no one dies, or if they did, they’d just resurrect to fight another day, I too would have the same itch as this generation of gamers.


But kids. War in the real world is not the same as war on your computer or smartphone screens where you play with your friends in the comfort of your own home or whilst chilling and leeching free wi-fi in Starbucks. Cheapos!

In real war, people will die. For good. They will not resurrect to fight another day.

In real war, people will get injured and they will not miraculously get better by drinking a health potion.

There can only be one Jesus.

In real war, you are the zombie!!


Don’t ever hope for this latest issue to escalate into a full-blown war. So what if we won a battle or two? Can we win the war? If the Americans couldn’t all-out win the wars in Vietnam, Korea, Afghanistan, Iraq etc, what made you think that Singapore could easily win this war that you so craved? At least the Americans could withdraw with tails between their legs back to their country. Where are we going to withdraw to? Pulau Tekong?

Let me put it in a way where you can better understand.

In a war, you will be huddled close together in an MRT bunker deep underground without shower facilities. Ok maybe that’s not too scary. How about with no wi-fi?! Oooo shudders!

In a war, there will be no maid to manage your life because chances are she has been recalled back to her country. Scary right?

In a real war, your food is going to be damn expensive because hey guess what? Most of your food comes from Malaysia! No Macdonald’s for you because they’d only accept American dollars or gold…

In fact scratch all that.

In a real war, you will be recalled by the Army to fight the war! If you got injured or die due to heat exhaustion or a runaway tank, there’d be no special committee to discuss why you got injured or die. Your mom and dad, if they were still alive, would not be there to kaopei kaobu to the government.

And if you are a woman. May God bless you. All the shopping malls would be closed.

This is not to say that you shouldn’t fight if war did really come. You should, while I make myself comfortable in the bunker.

But war should always be a last resort because in a war, no one wins.

There will be no sign flashing in the sky to say:



Posted in All Posts, News, Opinions, Uncategorized, Whatever Else | Leave a comment

NEA : Between A Rat And A Smoker

smoking rat

By: B. Goode

In the past few weeks alone, there had been three major cases of food poisoning in Singapore.

Let me ask an honest question. If an NEA officer-on-duty was to see a rat skittering under a non-smoking table with a man smoking at the table what you think the NEA officer would do?

Continue reading

Posted in All Posts, Opinions, Uncategorized, Whatever Else | Leave a comment

Netizens Rejoice As Heng Swee Kiat Beats Chan Chun Sing To The Finish Line

white horse

By: B. Goode

On Friday, Singaporeans all over the country stopped work and plugged their consciousness to the internet; eyes fixated to their smartphones scanning for the latest news. Some even walked aimlessly on the streets, seemingly lost for directions and hoping for their friends and acquaintances to lead the way…..

….for the best buys and best bargains for Black Friday.

There were a few however, for the lack of something better to do, had waited with bated breath for news coming out from the People’s Action Party (PAP) convocation convention for the proclamation of the new Crown Prince of Singapore politics.

Continue reading

Posted in All Posts, News, Opinions, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Fake News And The Believability Index


By: B Goode


If someone was to tell us that an airplane had just crashed on the ECP, we might believe it because it was possible.

But if someone was to tell us that God exists  a whale had appeared off the coast of Changi and swallowed a supertanker, we’d say bullshit!

Therein lies the problem in ascertaining whether something is fake or not. It is on sliding scale of possibility or believability.

Continue reading

Posted in All Posts, News, Opinions, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

The Legacy Of Goh Chok Tong : Vote For Me Or Your Sick Mom Will Have To Take The Stairs

old woman

By: B. Goode

The man formerly known as PM, SM, the Third Choice, Seat Warmer, who is now known as Emeritus Senior Minister (whatever that means) and who is still affectionately known as Panjang, Goh Chok Tong has just released his autobiography.

There are no surprises there. When you’ve reached a certain age when you know that your time on this earth is almost up, it can get pretty depressing. It affects all of us regardless of creed, class, wealth and fame.

Time + Biology = One hell of a bitch.

Continue reading

Posted in All Posts, Opinions, Whatever Else | Leave a comment

The Bold Initiative : Education

poor rich students

By: B Goode

The recent announcement by the Education Minister to loosen, just a little mind you, our seemingly oppressive exam-centred educational regime has been well received by most. Although it had been argued by some that it was a direct result of complaints by the new citizens and potential new migrants that their children couldn’t cope, it shouldn’t matter. Singaporean children would benefit too.

But was it a bold move? Nah. Safe, yes. Populist, yes. But bold? Hell to the NO.

So what would be considered as bold?

Continue reading

Posted in All Posts, Opinions, Uncategorized, Whatever Else | Leave a comment

377A : Being Anal About Anal Sex


By: B. Goode

If you are not a lawyer, Section 377A of the Penal Code (henceforth shall be referred to as 377A) is basically the government telling you what NOT to do with your own ass.

It is a remnant of an archaic law brought over from the prudish British time, right up to the present when anal sex is now being touted as a prevention for prostate cancer. And it is like a colonoscopy without the need to drink Seletar Reservoir dry prior to the procedure. Although you’d need to get drunk on bucket loads of beer. *according to a friend.

Continue reading

Posted in All Posts, Opinions, Uncategorized, Whatever Else | Leave a comment

99-Year Lease : Looking Past The Pedantry

chicken coop


By: B Goode

Aaaah Singaporeans. The champion complainers. We complain and complain and complain until we forget what we are complaining about.

We complain and complain and complain until we lose focus on the real issue, and then we complain some more.

Now it’s my turn to complain…

When you buy a packet of keropok with a due date clearly stamped on it, do you after the due date has passed, go back to the manufacturer and ask for a refund? Or do you more stupidly ask for a replacement? You don’t. Why? Because the manufacturer will just say `Fuck off’ to you.

Of course HDB flats are slightly more complicated than that because firstly you can’t eat your flat. Secondly you’ll have to return the flat to the government instead of just throwing it away. Thirdly, the government will not say `Fuck Off’ to you. Instead you will have Indranee Rajah to confuse you with pedantry.

So now we are in the realm of semantics. Are HDB flat dwellers owners, tenants or lessess? Seriously, who gives a fuck! Whether you are the owner, tenant, lessee or a prostitute plying your trade from a HDB flat, when your lease is up, out you go.

So the most important question that we should be bugging the government is; will there be enough new flats when the leases to the old ones start to expire? Will the new flats be affordable? More importantly, will the new flats be the size of chicken coops because you don’t need a big space to have sex?

Do not be side-tracked by pedantry. Most importantly, don’t hope that the government will change their minds about extending the leases. It will never happen and rightfully so.

Instead, focus on the more pressing matter of making sure that the government will take steps to ensure the availability of affordable and liveable flats for our future generations.

Posted in All Posts | Leave a comment

Tan Cheng Bok As Opposition Coalition Leader : Bah! Too Much Hard Work



By: B Goode

When it came to the chance of becoming Singapore’s President, Tan Cheng Bock was quick off the block. Too quick even; jumping the gun by announcing his intention to run for the Presidential election and  forming a committee even before the government had finalized the criteria for eligibility only for the government to say : “Sorry no can do unless you are a Malay.”

But when it came to the chance of becoming the opposition coalition leader and thus the chance of becoming the next PM, Tan Cheng Bok wasn’t too eager saying to the effect : “Errr….let me think about it.”

Why? What’s the reason for his reluctance? Why the sudden dousing of his burning desire to serve the nation? Why was the beaver no longer eager?

Well, that’s Tan Cheng Bok in nutshell for you.

Let’s be honest. Unlike being a coalition leader, to be a President is comparatively a walk in the park.

  1. With the PAP in government, the people would be more keen to have an opposition as the President.
  2. The people knew that the President, regardless of his political affiliation, would have little to no effect on their day-to-day lives and so they would be willing to vote anyone just to troll the government.
  3. It is cheaper to run for the President because you are only representing yourself.
  4. There is little politicking, no political maneuvering, no party affairs to deal with simply because there is no party to begin with.
  5. And once you become the President, you practically have nothing to do. There are no policies to formulate, no cabinet meetings to attend, no Parliamentary sittings, no party housekeeping, heck even your speeches are drafted, vetted and approved by the government. Although you do need to brush up on your toasting skills. And oh waving too….

So, for Tan Cheng Bok to be hesitant to accept the offer of being the coalition leader is not out of character; a self-entitled glory seeker who hungers for prestige and recognition but without the hard work. Tan Cheng Bok knew that had he been eligible for the last Presidential election, he stood a great chance of winning. He only needed to kiss a few babies and look pretty and the job would have been his.

On the other hand, to be the leader of an opposition coalition he would have to deal with people like Chee Soon Juan.

Too much hard work bro.

I rest my case.

Posted in All Posts, News, Opinions | Leave a comment

Najib Razak : Turning Of The Screw

najib razak

By: B. Goode

Any day now, the world’s biggest known kleptocrat, the man of steal himself, will be arrested.

If that happened, many people might be asking : What took them so long?

To know the answer is to know the one who is now gleefully turning the screw; Mahathir Mohamed.

Mahathir Mohamed did not become the longest serving Malaysian PM (22 years) by being simple-minded. And now to come out from retirement to lead a gang of disparate parties, whose leaders; Anwar Ibrahim, Mat Sabu and Lim Kit Siang were once incarcerated by him, and to do the near impossible by defeating Najib in the election is simply sensational. That was definitely not an achievement by a simpleton.

To put it bluntly, Mahathir Mohamed is a scheming bastard. The very reason why Singapore leaders had and are having a hard time with him. He could, if he wanted to, put all of them in his pocket except of course the late Lee Kuan Yew. But I digress…

When asked, Mahathir Mohamed said that Najib would be handled according to the rule of law. That’s Mahathir-speak for `I’m gonna fatten him up for the slaughter.’

So whilst Najib sang and danced like a dunce thinking that he was still the Teflon King of Malaysia, Mahathir sharpened the knife and cleaned the chopping block.

First to go was the Attorney-General. And then, in quick succession and almost simultaneously, out went the Chief Justice, Head of the Appeals Court, the Chief of the anti-corruption agency, the Central Bank Governor, the heads of the ROS and EC; practically every route that Najib could utilize to wriggle his way out was shut. And the civil servants were warned to be loyal to the government of the day.

Once all that was in place, slowly but surely, Mahathir began to turn the screw tight. One after another, the nature of Najib’s misdeeds was made known to the public. It was a typical Mahathir’s modus operandi; trial by media to sway public’s opinion against his target reminiscence of his fight against the Royals and against Anwar just to name two. And on both occasions, he came up tops and there was nothing to suggest that he would not win again.

This is not to say that Najib does not deserve every ounce of punishment coming his way. It is one thing to raid the country’s coffer, but if proven right, to also raid funds meant for the poor, orphans, pilgrims and to sell lands and infrastructure to foreign powers just to satisfy his extravagant lifestyle and to bribe his way to remain in power is simply pure evil. And to do so with the smugness and without remorse of a man who knows no bounds, is beyond every fiber of human decency.

The world is watching to see justice being served. And for justice to be served, if it is served, in the hands of the father of all schemers, Mahathir, will make it even sweeter. It is like the satisfaction of seeing a robber being robbed by another robber. Or a rapist getting his ass raped in his prison cell.

Najib the schemer getting schooled by the master schemer himself. There can never be a better ending than that surely.

Posted in All Posts, News, Opinions, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Trump – Kim Summit : Cirque Du So Lame


By: B. Goode

So, $20 Million is the cost that we taxpayers will have to bear for the Trump-Kim summit. That’s equivalent to about 2 trillion rupiah. Dafug!

And for what?

If we were to believe the government’s official selling point, it was for world peace. Stop sniggering Kim….Kardashian!

Firstly, the world has never been more peaceful. Apart from small pockets of insurgency in Africa and the Middle-east, everyone else is too busy to make money to bother about killing each other.

Secondly, if it was really for world peace, why were we the only suckers in the world to subsidize this? What happened to the other countries in the world especially South Korea and Japan that would benefitted most from a de-nuclearized Pyongyang? Shouldn’t they at least offer to pay for Kim’s double kingsize bed?

Thirdly, if we want to talk about future peace, well let’s put it this way:

In one corner, we have Donald Trump whose policy flip-flops are more famous than Croc’s. Here is a guy who has threatened to tear every single treaties and MOUs ever signed by the US from the environmental pact to the Iran nuclear deal to NAFTA to all the trade deals with China, EU, Canada, Mexico and Timbuktu to the defence treaties with Japan, Korea and Taiwan to whatever else. You name it he will want to change it. But the next day, he will say the exact opposite. Who in the world would want to trust someone as bipolar as an algae-encrusted Innuka? I’d trust Miss Universe more.

Then we have Kim Jong Un in the other corner. How could someone who could not even afford to pay for his stay in Singapore be a threat to world peace? It beggars belief.

Oh ok so he has a nuclear device. But a nuclear device is useless without a way to deliver it to its target. Knowing the North Korean technology, the nuclear missile meant for Hawaii would end up In Pyongyang. And for a country to be a nuclear power, it would need more than one or two nuclear warheads. The manufacturing, maintaining and storing of a nuclear warhead is very much like that of an onion. After six months, the nuclear materiel in the warhead would be rendered useless because of its radioactive nature. Thank God for google.

Min Shanmugam mentioned about North Korea’s capability to send a nuclear missile directly to Singapore. Really? Why would Kim waste a missile on us? And would China allow an unstable regime to have the missile capability to travel all the way to Beijing and beyond? But please don’t blame Min Shanmugam for his ignorance. He is still my favourite Minister. But he is just a trained lawyer after all.

Another excuse for hosting THE glamorous event of the century was put forward by PM Lee. It would increase Singapore’s standing in the world. Yup that’s right. Singapore is a backwater country that no one has ever heard of…..

He also mentioned that we have never asked for it. Oh really? If he really wasn’t that hardup, why would he send Vivian Balakrishnan to Washington and Pyongyang to grovel and plead?

Let’s put it this way. Had the summit been held in Geneva, would the Swiss government be this bothered?

PM Lee also said that it showed the close relationship we had with Washington and Pyongyang. Look. If he wants to be cosy and buddy-buddy with the murderous leader of despotic regime, so be it. Don’t get all of us involved.

So all the reasons are merely lame excuses to hide the real motive and that is the government is like a starry-eyed teenager who cannot pass on the opportunity to meet the Beatles. It is all about the glamour.

If I were the government, if I was asked for the reason for hosting this event, I’d just shrug my shoulders and say:

Because WE CAN!

Posted in All Posts, News, Opinions | Leave a comment

Singaporeans Throwing Tantrums When Mahathir Scraps HSR : Justified?


By: B Goode

When Mahathir scrapped the multi-billion dollar scam High Speed Rail (HSR) project, some of us went full retard.

Who can blame us? We are Singaporeans. We went full retard on an innocent BMW driver ffs.

Our emotions ranged from that of a jilted lover : “ Meh. We don’t fancy her anyway.”

To a petulant child throwing his toys out of the pram : “Mahathir is an asshole!”

To downright stoopid : “Singaporeans will not go to JB and KL to shop liao.”

To calm and collected : Me.

I am no fan of Mr Ten Percent. I am no fan of the shameless kleptocrat either. Less we forget, they are both cut from the same cloth. But just because a thief says something is good doesn’t mean it is bad and vice versa.

Fact of the matter is, inflated or not, Malaysia has a debt of RM1 trillion. If you were to write one trillion in numerical form, it would circumvent Rosmah’s waist three times over. It is that YUUUUGE!

So Mahathir decided to cancel the HSR project because simply put, Malaysia doesn’t have the money. Remember when PM Lee cancelled the second phase of gardens-by-the-bay? Same reason.

Considering the fact that Singapore – KL is already being served by an efficient, cheap and still with a lot of rooms to grow air link, the HSR project can be seen simply as an over-the-top glitzy project to line the pockets of Najib and his cronies and Rosmah’s Birkin bags with cold hard cash. And knowing Najib, it could even be a means to launder money. Of course we do not have the facts. But Mahathir now does and this is something that we forget.

Anyway at the end of the day, it is their government, it is their money, it is their politics, it is their life, it is their future. It is them. Only thing we can do is to grab some popcorn and watch as the drama unfolds.

Posted in All Posts, News, Opinions | Leave a comment

Maliki Osman And The Shifting Goalposts


By: B. Goode

Apparently Snr Minister of State Maliki Osman has unilaterally decided for himself to be the voice of the Millennials. Not only did he believe to know the aspirations of the millennials, he also did it in typical ministerial fashion; with such faux-conviction that ironically, even the millennials couldn’t understand wtf he was trying to say.

Dude. You are already 53 years old. You are way, way past the millennial stage that you are now smacked in the middle of the uncle generation.

Damn uncles. Always telling `em youngins what to think.

In the recent parliamentary debate, without batting an eyelid and without a shred of empirical data, Uncle Maliki happily announced that the millennials no longer dreamt of attaining the 5Cs; cocks, cu…err sorry. Wrong Cs. They still dream of that, I am sure.

5Cs :  Cash, Car, Credit card, Condominium and Country club.

Hello uncle! There is a big difference between not wanting something because you have changed your desires, and not wanting something because you know that it is impossible to possess. Duh!

Come on now. Who doesn’t want cash? Who doesn’t want car? Who doesn’t want credit card, condo and country club if they can afford them?

Maliki is being disingenuous in trying not only to shift the goalposts, but to remove them entirely and to replace them with something that comes out from his ass, knowing jolly well that the millennials can no longer get the 5Cs due to those things being unattainable to most of them.

So what are the new goalposts as suggested by Maliki? Read and laugh:

“Our youths today crave memorable and purposeful experiences that emphasise the importance of the journey, instead of being fixated with the destination”

No dude. They want to get to Jurong East Interchange ASAP and wouldn’t care less about the incessant delays or overcrowding during the journey.

“Youths want to be excited about where they live, work and play, encapsulated by the You Only Live Once (YOLO) attitude.”

No dude. Recklessness is definitely not what they aspire to be.

“Our youths can look forward to raising families in homes that will boast both physical and digital connectivity. Just imagine, by leveraging artificial intelligence, smart homes could render current day household chores an afterthought.”

No dude. Feeding a crying baby is never and will never be an afterthought regardless of how fast your home internet is.

“Millennials will come to grips with the challenges of participating in the extremely competitive global labour marketplace. More will job hop, with high attrition rates in some professions – because just earning money is not enough – young people want to know that they have made a difference. They look for new experiences and learn new things as they know the possession of single or static skillsets is not sufficient to thrive amid the competition.”

No dude. Now you are just being silly like a true politician you are. This is more your own wishful thinking than the wish of millennials. This is more of your own excuse rather than the real reason for the high attrition rate. You are basically blaming job-hopping on the millennials mindset rather than the inability of the government to provide stable, good paying jobs for the youths.

“Millennials also enjoy hunting down “Instagram-worthy hangouts” and participating in various arts or sporting events, and so Singapore must be able to cater to such leisure activities”

No dude. That’s what your PM loves.

“To satisfy this new generation’s thirst for novel experiences, this government will need to partner our citizens to redefine the meaning of success, and recognise that paradoxically, it might be one that continually shifts and always gives us something new and better to aspire towards. This issues a clarion call to the government to raise our standards of public service delivery to satisfy the expectations of our people. This is our opportunity to reimagine many areas of governance such as housing, health, social services, education and transportation.”

 Seriously dude. Just STFU.

Posted in All Posts, News, Opinions, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

BN’s Downfall : Are You Watching, PAP?


By: B. Goode

Be afraid. Be very afraid dear card-carrying PAP comrades. Because the circumstances leading to the tsunami in Malaysian politics were eerily similar to the conditions slowly but surely developing in Singapore right now. Whether you realize it or not, you are morphing into them; arrogant, aloof, self-serving, cliquish, detached and with the penchant of looking at the big picture without seeing the finer details; of gazing at the sky whilst trampling on the grass under your feet.

The PAP has always been known as a `father-knows-best’ party. This we know. But that was okay when they had giants like Lee Kuan Yew, Goh Keng Swee, Tony Tan, Rajaratnam, Dhanabalan et al. I mean if any of those gentlemen were to tell me that my father was a communist and had to be put in cold storage, I might believe them.

But not when it is currently infested by Mickey and Minnie mice devoid of any substance or personality whose idea of being ministerial is to spew utter garbage, in perfect English of course. They have turned `looking the other way’ into an art form; totally in dissonant with the plight of the masses.

During the Zika out break, it took Mickey Mouse one whole week to come out from his bunker to say something. Then again it was to blame Singaporeans for breeding mosquitoes. And he recently got promoted.

When we complained about the flats getting more expensive and smaller, Minnie Mouse said we didn’t need a big space to have sex. And when we complained about the price of baby formula, she told us to feed our infants with any type of milk because milk is milk. And she got promoted.

And more recently, this same group of people with their heads so high up their asses that they could lick their own spleen, spent a good portion of a Parliamentary session to discuss about balloons, led by Olive Oyl who even days after that, was still nagging for an apology.

No dear Olive. We don’t want an apology. We need cheaper spinach.

Never has there been a more annoying and irrelevant congregation of lickspittles to sit in Parliament than this bunch of over-paid cooks and waitresses whose only expertise is to dish out lip service.

Frankly speaking, I could get a better lip service for $40 from the backlane of Geylang.

Just observe the recent Parliamentary sitting to debate on the speech written by Cabinet and read out by the President. Bold this. Bold that. The only thing bold is their temerity to regurgitate decades’ old ideas and plans. I mean when was the first time we heard about changing the education system? Yea that’s right. When LKY was still the PM.

And they wanted to talk about being bold when they were too chicken to even name a potential PM amongst themselves.

This arrogance perhaps stems from their sense of invincibility borne no less from their perception that the opposition are a bunch of `The Suck’ which, to be fair is not far from the truth. But the sad state of the opposition shouldn’t be the reason for the PAP to suck more. Because when push comes to shove, when the people has had enough of bullshit, tsunami will happen.

So what are the similarities between BN and PAP? Let us count the ways:


  1. Being led by a scandal-ridden PM who has overstayed his welcome who surrounds himself with lackeys too quick to come to his defense even to the point of talking to dead people. And a PM who seems to be lacking in political savviness. See South China Sea. He is damn good with the selfie camera though.
  2. Having a wife who is unpopular. No doubt Ho Ching is more likeable than Rosmah but both are seen as wasting public funds. One on expensive bags, the other on unprofitable investments.
  3. The high cost of living that seems to be spiraling out of control. So what did they do to assuage the people? Increase the price of water by 30%, further GST increase whilst scratching their heads for the solution to the problem.
  4. HDB flats that are getting smaller yet, increasingly unaffordable. The solution? Build smaller and smaller flats; build more rental flats; and glamorizes claustrophobic studio flats as `retirement kampungs’ and what not. If retirees could only afford to live in a flat not much bigger than the SPCA kennels, than the PAP government has failed to fulfill their promises some 40-50 years ago when these same retirees were spritely young men and women told to vote for the PAP for a better future. Their future? When stray dogs got a bigger living space them….
  5. Deluge of foreign talents (hahaha) that shows no signs of abating that has led to social problems, overcrowding, pressure on infrastructure, stagnating wages etc. So what’s the solution? None except to say that the government must be bold and remain steadfast in convincing the people that the foreign talent policy is the best. But what if the people don’t want the population to grow any further? What’s the alternative? None.
  6. The growing income gap when the poor are so poor that even the foreign workers are getting a better deal. At almost the same wages, compared to say the toilet aunties, foreign workers got free lodging, free water, free electricity, free wifi, free cooking gas, free gym, free pest control, and unbridled freedom in the dormitories that have become a hotbed of illegal activities. Want a place to store, buy and sell contrabands? Go to dormitories. Truth!
  7. This income gap is exacerbated by the perception that if you are rich enough, you belong to the almost untouchable class of the elites when even the law seems warped to your favour. And if you are an elite, you can almost be guaranteed to get a cushy job.
  8. And many more.


Do not underestimate the anger and sense of helplessness brewing amongst the populace and be deaf to the cacophony of complaints, lulled into a state of complacency and buoyed by a faux aura of invincibility. Your aura is slowly being chipped away by the problems besetting the country that you seem to be unable and unwilling to solve.

If Malaysians could get so fed-up that they were willing to smash the ideological and racial divide to vote for whom they used to hate, Singaporeans could too. If the Malays could vote for the DAP, if the Chinese could vote for PKR, if the PKR supporters could vote for the jailor of their leader just to see the back of BN, Singaporeans too could someday vote for this….




Posted in All Posts, News, Opinions, Whatever Else | Leave a comment

Pirates Of The Klang Valley : At Wits End


By: Dato’ B. Goode

Malaysians, including thousands of new citizens from Bangladesh, Philippines, Indonesia, Rohingya, a few from Singapore (true story), Bosnia, Palestine, any Ahmad, Badul and Harris, those who will most probably pledge their allegiance to the ruling party for giving them a new lease of life, not to mention the simple-minded kampong folks will go to the polls today.

Will Asia’s very own Mugabe and his racist party retain power?

Short answer : yes

Long answer : You fucking well believe it!

Najib’s blatant attempt at manipulating the system to ensure his survival would make even Goebbles rise from the ashes and shout ‘Hail Najib!’.

Gerrymandering – Check

Fear Mongering – Check

Cash handouts – Check

Subjugating the political system – Check

Making life hard for voters to vote by having the polling day on a Wednesday – Check

Making use of national media to tar the reputation of the opposition – Check

Check, checks and more cheques.

But honestly, will it make any difference to the country and to the Malaysians whether Najib wins or loses if the alternative is Mahathir Mohamed? Will it make a difference if the choice is between Alibaba and Big Pussy Bonpansiero? They are both thieves out to enrich themselves, their families, friends and cronies.

Let’s not kid ourselves. Mahathir Mohamed is no angel. He is not known as Mister Ten Percent for nothing. He is as corrupt as Najib is albeit doing it less blatantly. At least he is not so stupid as to claim his billions of ill-gotten monies to be donation from an Arab Prince. LOL!

The corruption that has permeated Malaysia is so chronic that it has a life of its own. It is so entrenched that the Malaysians themselves seem to expect, indeed want their leaders to be corrupt. If you are not corrupted, you are not a good leader seems to be the accepted adage. That’s why the Malaysians gleefully wait with arms stretched for handouts without asking themselves where the money comes from. And over generations this has breed an entitlement and crutch mentality that can only be satisfied by corrupt politicians.

So unless there arises an honest leader who has the will and wherewithal to smash this vicious cycle of money politics, Malaysia sadly to say will remain corrupted. But finding an honest leader in Malaysia is like finding the proverbial needle in a haystack. Only difference is, in Malaysia there is not even a single needle to begin with.

But as long as there is oil to be pumped, timber to be felled, land to be sold, Arab donations to be gotten to feed the insatiable thirst for handouts, Malaysia will continue to chug along nicely and nonchalantly on the corrupted path.

Posted in All Posts, News, Opinions | Leave a comment

Death Of An NSman : An Unpopular Opinion


By: Cpl (Res) B. Goode

Living in this time when libertards, millennials, whiners, weaklings and keyboard warriors roam the earth, I have to wait until the funeral is over to post this rant of mine.

In any case, may the soul of NSman Private Dave Lee Han Xuan rest in peace.

Too young, too soon and utterly unnecessary.

It is however, heartwarming to note that the government will be forming an inquiry and will do a thorough investigation into the cause of death to prevent future deaths. Again.

The death of Pte Dave Lee during NS wasn’t the first and regardless of the recommendations (again) to be put forward by the inquiry, it would certainly not be the last.

In the immediate aftermath of the unfortunate death, tinfoil hatters were out in droves and were quick to blame, yes you’ve guessed it, the government.

Until the result of the inquiry is out, I will reserve judgement.

But the question that I am dying to ask is : Whatever happened to self- accountability and self-assessment?

It wouldn’t matter what safety precautions the Army had in place during an exercise. They could have a doctor every 100 meters, an ambulance even, a water point every 200 meters, or having the trainees’ maids shelter them with an umbrella, but only the trainees themselves would know how they felt.

Heatstroke is not a silent killer. You will know if you are going to have a heatstroke. You will feel unwell. Something that I am sure Pte Lee would have felt during his exercise. So why didn’t he just stop and tell his supervisor that he couldn’t carry on?

The answer perhaps was because he was afraid to be scolded by his supervisor.  Or he had a great sense of pride and wanted to finish the exercise which is a good value to have. Or he didn’t think much about it and thought that he could complete the course.

And this is where future trainees need to be educated about self-assessment and self-accountability. Most importantly they must be imparted in their young impressionable minds that sometimes, `giving your best’ can mean death. It is one thing to give your best and die in the battlefield and totally another to be the best in IPPT only to die from it.

Tell them that there is no shame in declaring that they are not feeling well prior to an exercise. Tell them that there is no shame in giving up half-way through a course because, as Spiderman said to Ironman in Infinity War before he died: ‘I feel funny’.

For the NSmen, whatever you do or don’t do during your NS stint will have no bearing in your future life. Truth. It is all about being smart. In fact, if you were too good, you might end up being the CEO of SMRT. Would you want that?

For the NSmen, know your body like you know this body:


Or for some of you who are gay, this body:


If not, you may end up like this body:



Posted in All Posts, News, Opinions, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Cabinet Reshuffle : De-cluttering The Clusterfuck


By: B. Goode

Once in a while, it feels good to de-clutter your personal space, be it your wardrobe, workstation or in the case of this woman……


But the danger of de-cluttering is that you might end up simply re-arranging the furniture or you might find something missing like your stash of Playboy magazines that you had collected during your teenage years.

“Damnit mom!”

Take the case of PM Lee’s recent kitchen cabinet reshuffle. Three Ministers gone simply because they were too old although they were about the same age as the PM himself.

The Minister-in-charge of paranormal activities, Indranee Rajah (she sees dead people) got promoted to full Minister because we needed more women in the cabinet.

The Milk Lady, Josephine Teo got moved to a bigger Ministry although she had failed miserably in her last posting as the Minister-in-charge of breeding. In any other countries, she would have gotten the sack. But not in Singapore. Here you’ll get rewarded for mediocrity.

Masagoes looks good with a beard so yea…he gets promoted too.

And so, after re-arranging all the furniture, you might then realize that you were missing some important stuff. As in the case of the cabinet reshuffle: Where the fuck is the new PM-designate?

Singapore is one of the few countries, if not the only country in the world where the Deputy PM will not automatically assume the PMship if the incumbent is to relinquish his post.

We have slightly more than two years before the next GE when the PM has promised to step down. And yet, he is still undecided as to who will be his successor. Apparently he needs more time to assess and evaluate the three frontrunners.

His procrastination is sending the wrong signal to Singaporeans and investors alike. What’s taking him so long to decide? Are the candidates not good enough? Is he waiting for a better candidate? Is there in-fighting within the ruling party? Or he simply bochap? Or gasp! He is staying for another term?

The PAP pride themselves with political renewal as a means to maintain political stability. Yet, the PM himself has overstayed his welcome and is seemingly still reluctant to abdicate.

The declaration of his new successor is long overdue and it will go a long way towards calming the uncertainty surrounding the reasons for the delay.

Posted in All Posts, News, Opinions, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

SMRT Leadership Change : A Breath Of Stale Air


By: B Goode

One General out, another General in.

In out in out in out.

It’s like watching a porn movie isn’t it? It gets stale real quick.

Former defence chief Neo Kian Hong is set to replace former General Desmond Kuek as SMRT CEO after what SMRT claimed to be a global search for a replacement.

In short, nobody suitable wanted the job! Boohoo!

And why would they? It wasn’t that the SMRT was too challenging for them. On the contrary. The SMRT, to put it in context, is one of the smallest train companies in the world. It is not even the bigger companies in Singapore. Their recent $26 million profit is hardly enough to buy a house along Oxley Road. The only challenge the SMRT has is to manage customers’ expectations. Where’s the challenge in that?

So the question everyone should be asking is not why a former defence chief got the job at SMRT but why couldn’t he get a bigger and better job? He is a former defence chief ffs and yet he is now asked to play with a toy train set…

Why not try his luck in the bigger international conglomerations?

From what I‘ve gathered, Neo Kian Hong is a no-nonsense task master who gets things done. Good for him. If there’s a group of people who needs a kick up their asses, it would be the SMRT staff who are settled in their `bochap’ complacent attitude. How many times have you seen SMRT staff having a nice long chat in the coffee shop at 3 o’clock in the morning when they should be taking advantage of the short maintenance window?

And using cable-ties…..

So back to the question. Why is Mr Awesome asked to helm a small company?

And herein lies something that has been bugging me. It seems as though all the cushy jobs in the GLCs are reserved for members of a certain clique. I don’t have to explain it do I? It is as obvious as the non-existence of God.

If the government truly believed in meritocracy, then perhaps they should start putting square pegs in square holes and not to parachute in clique members even if that clique member, as in the case of General Neo Kian Hong, is over-qualified.

Just imagine his resume:

2010 – 2013 : Chief Of Defence Force of one of the most powerful army in South-East-Asia

2018 – Present : CEO of SMRT.


Posted in All Posts, News, Opinions, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Dear Teachers : You Are Not So Special


By: Mr. B Goode (Anthropological Historian at Tun Sri Lanang Secondary)

So the government has decided to charge teachers for parking in school compounds.

Boohoo cry me a river!

So for the past one week or so, social media and the forum pages in MSM have been inundated with pleas by what I suspected are former teachers’ pets for the decision to be reverted. Arthur! Was that you?

They say that teachers, being educators are special…

Boohoo cry me another river!

If teachers are special, so are the Police Officers, the soldiers, the firefighters, in fact, almost all government servants because they perform specialized duties for the benefit of the people and the country in one way or another.

Except for the NEA officers who ambushed smokers. There’s nothing special about them. Even my mom could do what they did. And she’s dead….

Truth be told, each and everyone of us, be it government servants or otherwise, are special. Try saying to the toilet auntie that she’s not special. Go on teachers. I dare you!

So if all of us are special and we all have to pay for our parking, why not teachers? The fact that they have gotten away without paying for parking all these years should be considered a travesty.

Oh and lest they forget. Teachers are paid. Its not like they teach for free.

And another thing. If they could afford a car, what’s a few dollars of parking charges eh?

Posted in All Posts, News, Opinions, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

A Strange Coupling : SMRT To Engage McLaren To Monitor Train Performance

strange coupling

NEWSFLASH : SMRT Trains and McLaren will work together on condition-monitoring solutions that are able to track and predict the performance of SMRT trains. LOL!

It is as funny as Macdonald’s asking Burger King to teach them how to cook healthy food.

When was the last time McLaren won the F1? When was the last time we had a new PM? Too long…

The SMRT-McLaren Applied Technologies team will work on customising condition-monitoring solutions to monitor the train motors, brakes, pneumatic systems and gearboxes fitted aboard one SMRT train; these will collectively serve as a test-bed for proof-of-concept. This test-bed train will in turn allow engineers from SMRT and McLaren Applied Technologies to validate the performance of an end-to-end condition-monitoring platform.

Mr Desmond Kuek, SMRT President and Group CEO, said: “In Singapore, SMRT has been pioneering the development of rail condition-monitoring sensors to minimise disruption of our commuter service, optimising train performance by detecting and rectifying emerging defects early. We look forward to collaborating with McLaren Applied Technologies to elevate this capability further, combining our engineering expertise in rail with their proven capabilities harnessing sensors, telemetry and software in motorsport. McLaren’s motorsport technology will be adapted and installed on board our first Proof-of-Concept SMRT train later this year.  When implemented fleet-wide, we expect to bring about enhanced safety, reliability and comfort for commuters on our rail network.”

We are all for new ideas and efforts to improve on the archaic MRT system and honestly wish them all the best. But we cannot help but imagine the following scenario:

McLaren : After some tests, we found that the trains were overloaded. The trains could perform better, faster and cheaper if you could reduce the passenger load.

SMRT : Err but, but, but we need to squeeze in more passengers. More passengers mean more money. In fact, we have just ordered new trains with detachable seats. Also, in order to look more inclusive, we are allowing people to bring in their PMDs, bicycles, wheelchairs, motorcycles, cars, buses, lorries and even their houses if they could fit in the trains.

Posted in All Posts, News, Uncategorized, Whatever Else | Leave a comment