POFMA : The HALAL Certificate For Information

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By: B. Goode

Who was the one who said : Knowledge Is Power?

I think practically everyone.

And who was the one who said : War is not won on the battlefields but in the minds of the people?

I think it was Beyonce….

Anyway if knowledge is power, the wielder of the source of knowledge that is the information, will be one heck of an influential man. That’s why the internet is now so powerful and at the same time so feared because it contains within it, vast amount of information never seen before in the history of mankind. If you could somehow plug your brain to the internet, people will call you GOD.

Throughout history, the quest to control information had been the mainstay of governments whether they being feudal lords, kings, queens, despots or democratically elected representatives. Who controls information, how it is being manipulated, disseminated, managed and in the case of laws, enforced will determine who controls the masses. It is the basis that provides the legitimacy for that government. We can talk about legal (secular government), moral (Monarchy) or religious (Papal, Caliphate) authority but that authority in itself is bestowed upon the executors via some form of information control.

I saw the movie Saving Private Ryan the other day. It was about the invasion of Normandy during WWII.

What struck me the most was what drove thousands upon thousands of young men to participate in clearly a suicidal mission? How did they get the full conviction within their hearts to die for their country? Who convinced them?

And these questions hold true for practically all the wars in the history of humankind.

The answer my friend is blowing in the wind….

No seriously. The answer were the narratives formed in their hearts and minds as a result of the knowledge and information given to them. Whether it was pure propaganda, nationalistic fervor, half-truths or blatant lies wouldn’t matter. The narrative was set that caused the young men willing to die for whatever causes told to them.

So in this age thanks to the internet and social media, where information practically has a life of its own, governments’ attempts to control the flow information or the narrative couldn’t be more urgent.

POFMA (Protection from Online Falsehoods and Manipulation Act) is basically that. An attempt by the government to take control; to seize the narrative from let’s face it, a generally misinformed populace. At least according to the government.

The Singapore government, rightly so, was afraid that if they failed to seize the national narrative, misinformation, disinformation, sensationalized half-truths and blatant lies would mix together with boring truths and unbelievable realities resulting in a government overwhelmed by opposing views and opinions and thus encumbering their job at governing the country.

Case in point is the popular `PAP’s fault’ memes.

In short, the PAP government after almost 60 years of information monopoly, suddenly find themselves at risk of losing that monopoly and with it the ability to form the national narrative.

After almost 60 years of paternalistic policies of shoving things down our throats, they suddenly find their broods unwilling to swallow, preferring to take in other things instead. So what’s the solution? Take away the other things thus leaving only the things that they wanted us to consume to be available.

From the government perspective POFMA is good. It will at least prevent them from indulging too much of their time arguing and counter-arguing their case and so they could concentrate on the policies that matters.

From our point of view, well at least from mine, POFMA takes away the joy of debate; the joy of finding out for ourselves what’s true and what’s not. For some, it takes away the joy of trolling the government….

But let’s face it, we love to be spoon-fed. Singaporeans in general have grown accustomed to be told what’s good to eat, drink, dress, drive, live, go, queue, screw. Our Muslim brothers and sisters for instance are so dependent on MUIS to tell them what’s halal or haram instead of finding it for themselves.

The problem is, for many of us, we are not too discerning regarding the nature of the spoons that are feeding us. We simply don’t care about the veracity of the source of the information. The victims of internet scams are simply that; they don’t care and they fall prey.

So POFMA  is basically like the government putting a halal certificate on the information package. Anything in a halal information package is okay.

But for the sale, distribution and consumption of non-halal information you will be answerable to God Gov.

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The Case Of The NUS Pervert And Trust Issue

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By: B Goode

There is an increasingly disturbing trend in Singapore.

Whenever there was a case of members from the privileged class getting off lightly for some misdemeanors be it criminal or simply anti-social, there’d be a huge outcry from the `common’ folks.

Be it youths from well to do families that only got a warning and probation for vandalism when any Ahmad, Ah Beng or Muthu would get jail and canning for the same offence; or the son of a property scion who initially got away relatively lightly for drug possession; or when the son of new citizens got only a slap on the wrist for molest, we turned green and started to smash feverishly on our keyboards alluding to elitism.

And now we are all angry when an NUS pervert only got a warning for taking a video of his female acquaintance taking a shower.

Why so angry, Batman?

I guess it has got something to do with perception.

Or maybe we are just a nation of angry people….

The thing about perception is that it does not randomly fall from our nether region. It is a result of shared experiences coupled with the circumstances surrounding that experiences.

So now there’s a perception that members of the elite class are getting preferential treatment even from the law. Rightly or wrongly, this is a disturbing trend that must be addressed.

Truth be told, there has always been class divide. But at least in the past, the law was perceived as fair regardless of social standing, race or religion.

That perception apparently is no longer the case. Can we blame Singaporeans in general for having trust issues regarding the justice system? In today’s world where information and knowledge are just a swipe of the thumb away, it is not difficult for Singaporeans to compare and contrast similar cases with different penal outcomes.

Take the case of the peeping tom. It would not be difficult for Singaporeans to search the internet archives to see that other offenders were given more serious punishment than that meted out to the undergraduate.

Of course there is this argument that different offences although might seemed similar, could have different outcome depending on various factors chiefly being the mitigating factors such as `potential’.

But here’s the thing about potential. It seemed that it is pegged very closely to your social background. If you were of high social standing, your potential tended to be viewed as `high’. But if you were from a lower income group or a school dropout your potential was as good as none.

But measuring potential based on that is relative isn’t it? Jack Ma does not have a high educational qualification when he first started off, but can you say that he has low life potential?

When mitigating factors used to decide on the type of punishment are based largely on your social background, your financial standing and who you know, it will only lead to a skewed justice system.

History will tell us that when the last bastion of equality that is the justice system is perceived to be skewed towards the privileged class, social upheaval will follow. The rise of communism in the 50’s and 60’s in Asia and Africa attested to this.

Justice must be seen to be fair. If there was even a whisper that this was not the case, it must be nipped at the bud. When there existed a perception no matter how untrue that members of the elite class were protecting each other’s interest, that perception must be corrected.

I might be poor. I might be a destitute. I might be experiencing hunger most nights. But at least I should be comforted that the law will always be there to protect me.

It is just the way it is. It is the way it should always be.

 

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Depression : When Death Looks Enticing

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By: B. Goode

 

Imagine someone who has been blind since birth. Imagine them asking you to describe the colour `green’. Can you? Try it.

Depression is exactly like that. It is indescribable especially to those who have never experienced it themselves.

The usual words used to describe it such as `feeling low’, `sad’, `useless’, `down’ and whatevernot could barely scratch the surface of how a depressed person felt.

The utter sense of hopelessness brought about by the emotionally numbing but at the same time excruciating non-physical pain that resides somewhere in the deepest recesses of your very soul that threatens to rip your life essence and spit it out into the nether is what drives a depressed person mad.

And perhaps it is this lack of appropriate vocabulary to describe this `madness’ that causes mad people to be creative. People like Van Gogh, Einstein, Shakespeare, Prince and the like. Geniuses all of them.

I guess when you have been presented with the void that depression has brought, you tend to fill it with imaginings that came to you during your darkest hour; a painting of a starry night or the equation to how the universe work or a lyrical melody deeper than the deepest ocean or a story that never gets old.

Or like most others, you just lie in your bed hoping for the pain to subside.

Medication works to an extent. But it is akin to a toothache. You’d take a couple of Panadol until the pain subsided. Or if it was due to a cavity, you’d have the offending tooth extracted.

But you can’t extract depression. You’d take a couple of Zoloft and then a couple more and then some more and then still some more until you were unsure whether you were dead or alive.

Therapy? How do you explain the colour `green’ to a therapist who has blind since birth?

And you know what’s the worst thing about depression? It is when you are no longer afraid of the void. But instead you embrace it to the point of seeking it even. Because you are already so immersed in the unlit zone for so long that it seems to wrap you in this blanket of warmth that feels like love.

But it won’t just stop there. You’d crave for more. And more. And you’d descent even deeper into the abyss until you are outside the door of the mistress of the void herself. Death. Waiting for an invitation to enter. A soft wispy hello will do the trick.

But why wait for an invitation when you could just leap straight into her bosom and be one with the void? Peace at last.

Most are fortunate though. The realisation that darkness will consume everyone sooner or later makes them relish the opportunity to enjoy basking in the light for a while longer.

But for people like Robin Williams, Heath Ledger, Kurt Cobain and millions of unknown victims of suicide, even the light could no longer entice them.

Why am I writing this trash you may ask?

You see. Last night’s thunderstorm had caused my circuit-breaker to trip whilst I was binge-watching Netflix. Then I realized.

You don’t have Netflix in hell.

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Budget 2019 : Fulfilling Old Promises?

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By: B. Goode

If you looked back at the old news reels of PAP election rallies of the 60’s right up to the 80’s, you’d understand if I were to say that budget 2019 and indeed the budgets for the past few years were attempts by the PAP government to make good on their past election promises.

Back then, when the present older generation, the very group of people who have been showered with benefits after benefits in each of the past 3 budgets or so, were younger and at their prime, they were promised a ‘better tomorrow’ by the late LKY and his comrades.

Basically the PAP promised affordable housing, accessible healthcare, jobs, safe and clean environment and the eradication of poverty.

Whether the end justify the means is beside the point. The fact is, for today’s older generation they cannot but appreciate what the PAP government have done to make their lives tolerable.  I feel dirty just saying that but credit must be given where credit is due.

They have roofs over their heads; they have easy access to healthcare; they could `wheelchair’ their way everywhere with little or no humps or bumps; and they have no fear of starvation. In short, they are enjoying the basic of human needs.

Of course if one was to be cynical, one could say that the PAP government could have done better. But here’s the thing about the word `better’. It is infinite. Everything in life could be better. It is a never ending story.

But is life now for the older generation better than 50, 40, 30 years ago? I’d say yes.

For those who have not counted their blessings, I’d suggest going to some third-world countries and do their counting there.

On the surface, budget 2019 gives nothing much to the older generation. A hundred dollars here, a thousand dollars there; it was more of an icing on the cake. But the bigger picture, the cake, has been delivered as promised and on time.

It was more of little tweaks to ensure that for those who fell through the net, they would not have too hard a landing.

But for those who fell through the net, how much of it was the government’s fault? At the end of the day, we should not expect the government to totally replace the family’s responsibility; or for the government to clean up after the consequences of one’s irresponsible actions.

If an old man got cheated out of his house and savings by his incorrigible son, or if an old man went broke because he decided to spend all his savings living his second childhood, we should not expect the government to come to their rescue. No government in this world would do that. But at least for that old man, his basic needs, no matter how rudimentary would be taken care of by the government.

Some people argue that budget 2019 is an election budget. So be it. But for today’s younger generation, when you hear the promises made by the PAP of a better tomorrow, look no further than your older family members and ask yourself whether their lives are indeed better. Not the best maybe, but better.

Then you decide who to vote for in the coming elections:

Heng Swee Keatb2b3b4b5

 

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The Bold Initiative : Plastics

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By: B. Goode

There is a new global fad in town. No. It is not the facebook 10-year challenge where aunties and uncles show off their before-and-after looks on facebook.  It is the war against plastic straws.

From Singapore to Shanghai; from Kuala Lumpur to Katmandu; From the UK to the US, countries are banning the use of plastic straws.

However considering the fact that plastic straws only constitute about 0.01% of all plastic products produced, this war is at best, meaningless.

But it is a good start nonetheless. But why stop there? Why be good when you can be awesome?

Singapore should not merely follow what other countries do. We should be the trend-setter and blaze a trail that other countries could emulate.

  1. Ban plastic bottles and replace them with glass. Of course this will be more costly and inconvenient because glass is heavier and break easily. But hey! This is the bold initiative.
  2. A less inconvenient alternative will be aluminium/tin cans.
  3. Impose a high tax on plastic, so high that shops and supermarkets will have no choice but to pass on the costs to the consumers. Meaning, customers would have to pay for each plastic bags.
  4. Just as we banned smoking in public parks and beaches, we should also ban plastic bottles, cups, plates and what-nots from those areas.
  5. Limit the amount of plastic that can be used in packaging. Have you bought a packet of biscuits lately? You have the biscuits individually wrapped in plastic; neatly arranged in a plastic container; and the whole thing is then wrapped in, you guessed it, plastic.

The world is dying. Some scientists even go as far as to declare that the world is in its deathbed. The world is our only home. It is not like we can migrate to another planet.

So unless we take the bold initiative to combat plastic waste, there will no home for our children in the future.

 

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Singapore: Like An Egg On A Bull’s Horn

vegewep

By: B. Goode

All the posturing vis-à-vis the latest Singapore-Malaysia boundary spat apparently did not have much impact on the panic-level of Singaporeans in general. The Causeway is jammed as ever. Singaporeans are still going across to Malaysia to shop till they drop, thus fueling the very economy of a country that is supposed to be threatening our sovereignty.

Khaw Boon Wan has calmed down and removed the warpaint from his face. Josephine Teo has not opened his mouth…

So yeah. There’s nothing for Singaporeans to panic. That is until it was announced that Malaysia might restrict the export of eggs and some fish.

We cowered at the reality, whilst Malaysians laughed at our fragility.

Truth be told, we are not self-sufficient in food supply. We are not self-sufficient in a single food produce. Most of our foods are imported. Most of them are from neighbouring countries. It was only 10 years ago that we were self-sufficient in eggs. Not anymore. The pressure for land to build homes and infrastructure to fit in 7 million people means whatever left of our arable lands have to make way for development.

The farms in and around Lim Chu Kang and Kranji will soon make way for Tengah Town.

The only chicken farm left will be in Geylang but those chickens don’t have eggs.

Or do they? (Insert theme from Twilight Zone).

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This is the fact of life. There is nothing we can do to alleviate this problem. It’s as if we have been cursed to always be dependent on others for something as basic as food.

The government was quick to assure Singaporeans that we have other sources for our eggs and fish and that we don’t rely solely on Malaysia. That’s true. For today. When everything is peaceful and regional trade is still free.

What happen if there is a war in the region? Or, God forbids, with our neighbours? With our own hinterlands?

On our west, east and north, we are separated by less than a kilometer of water from Malaysia. On the south, Indonesia, leaving us with only a sliver of channel we call the Straits of Singapore. In a war, it will be very difficult for us to get our supplies in.

As I’ve constantly reminded Singapore’s younger generations; we might win a battle or two. But can we survive a protracted war of attrition? When we are being sieged and besieged and our food supplies being disrupted?

Can we survive on tapioca alone? Come to think of it, do we still know how to plant tapioca?

What I am saying is that; we can have the most powerful military arsenal in the region. We can have the most modern Army with the best-trained soldiers. But as long as we are totally dependent on foreign imports for our food, we will be susceptible to foreign threats to our sovereignty.

We should feel blessed that unlike countries in other parts of the world, we have giant neighbours that are benevolent that want to see us proper. Neighbours that allow us to prosper.

Considering how narrow the channels and straits dividing us with Malaysia and Indonesia are, tresspassing will occur from time to time. But do we have to rattle our sabre everytime that happens? We have to remember that they too have their own national pride. They too have their own local audience to placate.

It is good to see that cooler heads have since prevailed. Because when we are as precarious as an egg on a bull’s horn, it is much better to whisper our unhappiness into the ears of the bull, than to shout our grievances from the top of the…..bull’s horn.

We can laugh at the state of Malaysia’s military hardware; of submarines that couldn’t submerge. Of planes that couldn’t fly. Of bombs that have gone that missing.

Malaysians too can laugh at our landscape; of lush vegetation that we couldn’t eat. Of farmlands turned into concrete jungle. Of chickens that got culled……

We can rattle our state-of-the-art sabre at them. They only need to stop food exports.

So moral of the story is:

Chill!

 

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Singapore – Malaysia Spat : War Is Not A Computer Game, Kids!

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By: B. Goode

So the estranged lovers are at it again eh? Squabbling over who gets what. Get a room already!

But you guys should look at the reactions of some of our younger generation to this latest spat.

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It was as if they were itching for the issue to escalate into a full-blown war.

LET’S WHOOP SOME ASS!!!

But who could blame them? If I were to grow up fed by a constant stream of pixels and avatars fighting in a world of make-believe where no one dies, or if they did, they’d just resurrect to fight another day, I too would have the same itch as this generation of gamers.

FIGHT! HADUKEN!!

But kids. War in the real world is not the same as war on your computer or smartphone screens where you play with your friends in the comfort of your own home or whilst chilling and leeching free wi-fi in Starbucks. Cheapos!

In real war, people will die. For good. They will not resurrect to fight another day.

In real war, people will get injured and they will not miraculously get better by drinking a health potion.

There can only be one Jesus.

In real war, you are the zombie!!

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Don’t ever hope for this latest issue to escalate into a full-blown war. So what if we won a battle or two? Can we win the war? If the Americans couldn’t all-out win the wars in Vietnam, Korea, Afghanistan, Iraq etc, what made you think that Singapore could easily win this war that you so craved? At least the Americans could withdraw with tails between their legs back to their country. Where are we going to withdraw to? Pulau Tekong?

Let me put it in a way where you can better understand.

In a war, you will be huddled close together in an MRT bunker deep underground without shower facilities. Ok maybe that’s not too scary. How about with no wi-fi?! Oooo shudders!

In a war, there will be no maid to manage your life because chances are she has been recalled back to her country. Scary right?

In a real war, your food is going to be damn expensive because hey guess what? Most of your food comes from Malaysia! No Macdonald’s for you because they’d only accept American dollars or gold…

In fact scratch all that.

In a real war, you will be recalled by the Army to fight the war! If you got injured or die due to heat exhaustion or a runaway tank, there’d be no special committee to discuss why you got injured or die. Your mom and dad, if they were still alive, would not be there to kaopei kaobu to the government.

And if you are a woman. May God bless you. All the shopping malls would be closed.

This is not to say that you shouldn’t fight if war did really come. You should, while I make myself comfortable in the bunker.

But war should always be a last resort because in a war, no one wins.

There will be no sign flashing in the sky to say:

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NEA : Between A Rat And A Smoker

smoking rat

By: B. Goode

In the past few weeks alone, there had been three major cases of food poisoning in Singapore.

Let me ask an honest question. If an NEA officer-on-duty was to see a rat skittering under a non-smoking table with a man smoking at the table what you think the NEA officer would do?

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Netizens Rejoice As Heng Swee Kiat Beats Chan Chun Sing To The Finish Line

white horse

By: B. Goode

On Friday, Singaporeans all over the country stopped work and plugged their consciousness to the internet; eyes fixated to their smartphones scanning for the latest news. Some even walked aimlessly on the streets, seemingly lost for directions and hoping for their friends and acquaintances to lead the way…..

….for the best buys and best bargains for Black Friday.

There were a few however, for the lack of something better to do, had waited with bated breath for news coming out from the People’s Action Party (PAP) convocation convention for the proclamation of the new Crown Prince of Singapore politics.

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Fake News And The Believability Index

fakenews

By: B Goode

 

If someone was to tell us that an airplane had just crashed on the ECP, we might believe it because it was possible.

But if someone was to tell us that God exists  a whale had appeared off the coast of Changi and swallowed a supertanker, we’d say bullshit!

Therein lies the problem in ascertaining whether something is fake or not. It is on sliding scale of possibility or believability.

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The Legacy Of Goh Chok Tong : Vote For Me Or Your Sick Mom Will Have To Take The Stairs

old woman

By: B. Goode

The man formerly known as PM, SM, the Third Choice, Seat Warmer, who is now known as Emeritus Senior Minister (whatever that means) and who is still affectionately known as Panjang, Goh Chok Tong has just released his autobiography.

There are no surprises there. When you’ve reached a certain age when you know that your time on this earth is almost up, it can get pretty depressing. It affects all of us regardless of creed, class, wealth and fame.

Time + Biology = One hell of a bitch.

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The Bold Initiative : Education

poor rich students

By: B Goode

The recent announcement by the Education Minister to loosen, just a little mind you, our seemingly oppressive exam-centred educational regime has been well received by most. Although it had been argued by some that it was a direct result of complaints by the new citizens and potential new migrants that their children couldn’t cope, it shouldn’t matter. Singaporean children would benefit too.

But was it a bold move? Nah. Safe, yes. Populist, yes. But bold? Hell to the NO.

So what would be considered as bold?

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377A : Being Anal About Anal Sex

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By: B. Goode

If you are not a lawyer, Section 377A of the Penal Code (henceforth shall be referred to as 377A) is basically the government telling you what NOT to do with your own ass.

It is a remnant of an archaic law brought over from the prudish British time, right up to the present when anal sex is now being touted as a prevention for prostate cancer. And it is like a colonoscopy without the need to drink Seletar Reservoir dry prior to the procedure. Although you’d need to get drunk on bucket loads of beer. *according to a friend.

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99-Year Lease : Looking Past The Pedantry

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By: B Goode

Aaaah Singaporeans. The champion complainers. We complain and complain and complain until we forget what we are complaining about.

We complain and complain and complain until we lose focus on the real issue, and then we complain some more.

Now it’s my turn to complain…

When you buy a packet of keropok with a due date clearly stamped on it, do you after the due date has passed, go back to the manufacturer and ask for a refund? Or do you more stupidly ask for a replacement? You don’t. Why? Because the manufacturer will just say `Fuck off’ to you.

Of course HDB flats are slightly more complicated than that because firstly you can’t eat your flat. Secondly you’ll have to return the flat to the government instead of just throwing it away. Thirdly, the government will not say `Fuck Off’ to you. Instead you will have Indranee Rajah to confuse you with pedantry.

So now we are in the realm of semantics. Are HDB flat dwellers owners, tenants or lessess? Seriously, who gives a fuck! Whether you are the owner, tenant, lessee or a prostitute plying your trade from a HDB flat, when your lease is up, out you go.

So the most important question that we should be bugging the government is; will there be enough new flats when the leases to the old ones start to expire? Will the new flats be affordable? More importantly, will the new flats be the size of chicken coops because you don’t need a big space to have sex?

Do not be side-tracked by pedantry. Most importantly, don’t hope that the government will change their minds about extending the leases. It will never happen and rightfully so.

Instead, focus on the more pressing matter of making sure that the government will take steps to ensure the availability of affordable and liveable flats for our future generations.

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Tan Cheng Bok As Opposition Coalition Leader : Bah! Too Much Hard Work

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By: B Goode

When it came to the chance of becoming Singapore’s President, Tan Cheng Bock was quick off the block. Too quick even; jumping the gun by announcing his intention to run for the Presidential election and  forming a committee even before the government had finalized the criteria for eligibility only for the government to say : “Sorry no can do unless you are a Malay.”

But when it came to the chance of becoming the opposition coalition leader and thus the chance of becoming the next PM, Tan Cheng Bok wasn’t too eager saying to the effect : “Errr….let me think about it.”

Why? What’s the reason for his reluctance? Why the sudden dousing of his burning desire to serve the nation? Why was the beaver no longer eager?

Well, that’s Tan Cheng Bok in nutshell for you.

Let’s be honest. Unlike being a coalition leader, to be a President is comparatively a walk in the park.

  1. With the PAP in government, the people would be more keen to have an opposition as the President.
  2. The people knew that the President, regardless of his political affiliation, would have little to no effect on their day-to-day lives and so they would be willing to vote anyone just to troll the government.
  3. It is cheaper to run for the President because you are only representing yourself.
  4. There is little politicking, no political maneuvering, no party affairs to deal with simply because there is no party to begin with.
  5. And once you become the President, you practically have nothing to do. There are no policies to formulate, no cabinet meetings to attend, no Parliamentary sittings, no party housekeeping, heck even your speeches are drafted, vetted and approved by the government. Although you do need to brush up on your toasting skills. And oh waving too….

So, for Tan Cheng Bok to be hesitant to accept the offer of being the coalition leader is not out of character; a self-entitled glory seeker who hungers for prestige and recognition but without the hard work. Tan Cheng Bok knew that had he been eligible for the last Presidential election, he stood a great chance of winning. He only needed to kiss a few babies and look pretty and the job would have been his.

On the other hand, to be the leader of an opposition coalition he would have to deal with people like Chee Soon Juan.

Too much hard work bro.

I rest my case.

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Najib Razak : Turning Of The Screw

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By: B. Goode

Any day now, the world’s biggest known kleptocrat, the man of steal himself, will be arrested.

If that happened, many people might be asking : What took them so long?

To know the answer is to know the one who is now gleefully turning the screw; Mahathir Mohamed.

Mahathir Mohamed did not become the longest serving Malaysian PM (22 years) by being simple-minded. And now to come out from retirement to lead a gang of disparate parties, whose leaders; Anwar Ibrahim, Mat Sabu and Lim Kit Siang were once incarcerated by him, and to do the near impossible by defeating Najib in the election is simply sensational. That was definitely not an achievement by a simpleton.

To put it bluntly, Mahathir Mohamed is a scheming bastard. The very reason why Singapore leaders had and are having a hard time with him. He could, if he wanted to, put all of them in his pocket except of course the late Lee Kuan Yew. But I digress…

When asked, Mahathir Mohamed said that Najib would be handled according to the rule of law. That’s Mahathir-speak for `I’m gonna fatten him up for the slaughter.’

So whilst Najib sang and danced like a dunce thinking that he was still the Teflon King of Malaysia, Mahathir sharpened the knife and cleaned the chopping block.

https://www.thestartv.com/v/najib-and-rosmah-sing-songs-at-hari-raya-party

First to go was the Attorney-General. And then, in quick succession and almost simultaneously, out went the Chief Justice, Head of the Appeals Court, the Chief of the anti-corruption agency, the Central Bank Governor, the heads of the ROS and EC; practically every route that Najib could utilize to wriggle his way out was shut. And the civil servants were warned to be loyal to the government of the day.

Once all that was in place, slowly but surely, Mahathir began to turn the screw tight. One after another, the nature of Najib’s misdeeds was made known to the public. It was a typical Mahathir’s modus operandi; trial by media to sway public’s opinion against his target reminiscence of his fight against the Royals and against Anwar just to name two. And on both occasions, he came up tops and there was nothing to suggest that he would not win again.

This is not to say that Najib does not deserve every ounce of punishment coming his way. It is one thing to raid the country’s coffer, but if proven right, to also raid funds meant for the poor, orphans, pilgrims and to sell lands and infrastructure to foreign powers just to satisfy his extravagant lifestyle and to bribe his way to remain in power is simply pure evil. And to do so with the smugness and without remorse of a man who knows no bounds, is beyond every fiber of human decency.

The world is watching to see justice being served. And for justice to be served, if it is served, in the hands of the father of all schemers, Mahathir, will make it even sweeter. It is like the satisfaction of seeing a robber being robbed by another robber. Or a rapist getting his ass raped in his prison cell.

Najib the schemer getting schooled by the master schemer himself. There can never be a better ending than that surely.

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Trump – Kim Summit : Cirque Du So Lame

circus

By: B. Goode

So, $20 Million is the cost that we taxpayers will have to bear for the Trump-Kim summit. That’s equivalent to about 2 trillion rupiah. Dafug!

And for what?

If we were to believe the government’s official selling point, it was for world peace. Stop sniggering Kim….Kardashian!

Firstly, the world has never been more peaceful. Apart from small pockets of insurgency in Africa and the Middle-east, everyone else is too busy to make money to bother about killing each other.

Secondly, if it was really for world peace, why were we the only suckers in the world to subsidize this? What happened to the other countries in the world especially South Korea and Japan that would benefitted most from a de-nuclearized Pyongyang? Shouldn’t they at least offer to pay for Kim’s double kingsize bed?

Thirdly, if we want to talk about future peace, well let’s put it this way:

In one corner, we have Donald Trump whose policy flip-flops are more famous than Croc’s. Here is a guy who has threatened to tear every single treaties and MOUs ever signed by the US from the environmental pact to the Iran nuclear deal to NAFTA to all the trade deals with China, EU, Canada, Mexico and Timbuktu to the defence treaties with Japan, Korea and Taiwan to whatever else. You name it he will want to change it. But the next day, he will say the exact opposite. Who in the world would want to trust someone as bipolar as an algae-encrusted Innuka? I’d trust Miss Universe more.

Then we have Kim Jong Un in the other corner. How could someone who could not even afford to pay for his stay in Singapore be a threat to world peace? It beggars belief.

Oh ok so he has a nuclear device. But a nuclear device is useless without a way to deliver it to its target. Knowing the North Korean technology, the nuclear missile meant for Hawaii would end up In Pyongyang. And for a country to be a nuclear power, it would need more than one or two nuclear warheads. The manufacturing, maintaining and storing of a nuclear warhead is very much like that of an onion. After six months, the nuclear materiel in the warhead would be rendered useless because of its radioactive nature. Thank God for google.

Min Shanmugam mentioned about North Korea’s capability to send a nuclear missile directly to Singapore. Really? Why would Kim waste a missile on us? And would China allow an unstable regime to have the missile capability to travel all the way to Beijing and beyond? But please don’t blame Min Shanmugam for his ignorance. He is still my favourite Minister. But he is just a trained lawyer after all.

Another excuse for hosting THE glamorous event of the century was put forward by PM Lee. It would increase Singapore’s standing in the world. Yup that’s right. Singapore is a backwater country that no one has ever heard of…..

He also mentioned that we have never asked for it. Oh really? If he really wasn’t that hardup, why would he send Vivian Balakrishnan to Washington and Pyongyang to grovel and plead?

Let’s put it this way. Had the summit been held in Geneva, would the Swiss government be this bothered?

PM Lee also said that it showed the close relationship we had with Washington and Pyongyang. Look. If he wants to be cosy and buddy-buddy with the murderous leader of despotic regime, so be it. Don’t get all of us involved.

So all the reasons are merely lame excuses to hide the real motive and that is the government is like a starry-eyed teenager who cannot pass on the opportunity to meet the Beatles. It is all about the glamour.

If I were the government, if I was asked for the reason for hosting this event, I’d just shrug my shoulders and say:

Because WE CAN!

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Singaporeans Throwing Tantrums When Mahathir Scraps HSR : Justified?

tun

By: B Goode

When Mahathir scrapped the multi-billion dollar scam High Speed Rail (HSR) project, some of us went full retard.

Who can blame us? We are Singaporeans. We went full retard on an innocent BMW driver ffs.

Our emotions ranged from that of a jilted lover : “ Meh. We don’t fancy her anyway.”

To a petulant child throwing his toys out of the pram : “Mahathir is an asshole!”

To downright stoopid : “Singaporeans will not go to JB and KL to shop liao.”

To calm and collected : Me.

I am no fan of Mr Ten Percent. I am no fan of the shameless kleptocrat either. Less we forget, they are both cut from the same cloth. But just because a thief says something is good doesn’t mean it is bad and vice versa.

Fact of the matter is, inflated or not, Malaysia has a debt of RM1 trillion. If you were to write one trillion in numerical form, it would circumvent Rosmah’s waist three times over. It is that YUUUUGE!

So Mahathir decided to cancel the HSR project because simply put, Malaysia doesn’t have the money. Remember when PM Lee cancelled the second phase of gardens-by-the-bay? Same reason.

Considering the fact that Singapore – KL is already being served by an efficient, cheap and still with a lot of rooms to grow air link, the HSR project can be seen simply as an over-the-top glitzy project to line the pockets of Najib and his cronies and Rosmah’s Birkin bags with cold hard cash. And knowing Najib, it could even be a means to launder money. Of course we do not have the facts. But Mahathir now does and this is something that we forget.

Anyway at the end of the day, it is their government, it is their money, it is their politics, it is their life, it is their future. It is them. Only thing we can do is to grab some popcorn and watch as the drama unfolds.

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Maliki Osman And The Shifting Goalposts

maliki

By: B. Goode

Apparently Snr Minister of State Maliki Osman has unilaterally decided for himself to be the voice of the Millennials. Not only did he believe to know the aspirations of the millennials, he also did it in typical ministerial fashion; with such faux-conviction that ironically, even the millennials couldn’t understand wtf he was trying to say.

Dude. You are already 53 years old. You are way, way past the millennial stage that you are now smacked in the middle of the uncle generation.

Damn uncles. Always telling `em youngins what to think.

In the recent parliamentary debate, without batting an eyelid and without a shred of empirical data, Uncle Maliki happily announced that the millennials no longer dreamt of attaining the 5Cs; cocks, cu…err sorry. Wrong Cs. They still dream of that, I am sure.

5Cs :  Cash, Car, Credit card, Condominium and Country club.

Hello uncle! There is a big difference between not wanting something because you have changed your desires, and not wanting something because you know that it is impossible to possess. Duh!

Come on now. Who doesn’t want cash? Who doesn’t want car? Who doesn’t want credit card, condo and country club if they can afford them?

Maliki is being disingenuous in trying not only to shift the goalposts, but to remove them entirely and to replace them with something that comes out from his ass, knowing jolly well that the millennials can no longer get the 5Cs due to those things being unattainable to most of them.

So what are the new goalposts as suggested by Maliki? Read and laugh:

“Our youths today crave memorable and purposeful experiences that emphasise the importance of the journey, instead of being fixated with the destination”

No dude. They want to get to Jurong East Interchange ASAP and wouldn’t care less about the incessant delays or overcrowding during the journey.

“Youths want to be excited about where they live, work and play, encapsulated by the You Only Live Once (YOLO) attitude.”

No dude. Recklessness is definitely not what they aspire to be.

“Our youths can look forward to raising families in homes that will boast both physical and digital connectivity. Just imagine, by leveraging artificial intelligence, smart homes could render current day household chores an afterthought.”

No dude. Feeding a crying baby is never and will never be an afterthought regardless of how fast your home internet is.

“Millennials will come to grips with the challenges of participating in the extremely competitive global labour marketplace. More will job hop, with high attrition rates in some professions – because just earning money is not enough – young people want to know that they have made a difference. They look for new experiences and learn new things as they know the possession of single or static skillsets is not sufficient to thrive amid the competition.”

No dude. Now you are just being silly like a true politician you are. This is more your own wishful thinking than the wish of millennials. This is more of your own excuse rather than the real reason for the high attrition rate. You are basically blaming job-hopping on the millennials mindset rather than the inability of the government to provide stable, good paying jobs for the youths.

“Millennials also enjoy hunting down “Instagram-worthy hangouts” and participating in various arts or sporting events, and so Singapore must be able to cater to such leisure activities”

No dude. That’s what your PM loves.

“To satisfy this new generation’s thirst for novel experiences, this government will need to partner our citizens to redefine the meaning of success, and recognise that paradoxically, it might be one that continually shifts and always gives us something new and better to aspire towards. This issues a clarion call to the government to raise our standards of public service delivery to satisfy the expectations of our people. This is our opportunity to reimagine many areas of governance such as housing, health, social services, education and transportation.”

 Seriously dude. Just STFU.

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BN’s Downfall : Are You Watching, PAP?

humptydumpty

By: B. Goode

Be afraid. Be very afraid dear card-carrying PAP comrades. Because the circumstances leading to the tsunami in Malaysian politics were eerily similar to the conditions slowly but surely developing in Singapore right now. Whether you realize it or not, you are morphing into them; arrogant, aloof, self-serving, cliquish, detached and with the penchant of looking at the big picture without seeing the finer details; of gazing at the sky whilst trampling on the grass under your feet.

The PAP has always been known as a `father-knows-best’ party. This we know. But that was okay when they had giants like Lee Kuan Yew, Goh Keng Swee, Tony Tan, Rajaratnam, Dhanabalan et al. I mean if any of those gentlemen were to tell me that my father was a communist and had to be put in cold storage, I might believe them.

But not when it is currently infested by Mickey and Minnie mice devoid of any substance or personality whose idea of being ministerial is to spew utter garbage, in perfect English of course. They have turned `looking the other way’ into an art form; totally in dissonant with the plight of the masses.

During the Zika out break, it took Mickey Mouse one whole week to come out from his bunker to say something. Then again it was to blame Singaporeans for breeding mosquitoes. And he recently got promoted.

When we complained about the flats getting more expensive and smaller, Minnie Mouse said we didn’t need a big space to have sex. And when we complained about the price of baby formula, she told us to feed our infants with any type of milk because milk is milk. And she got promoted.

And more recently, this same group of people with their heads so high up their asses that they could lick their own spleen, spent a good portion of a Parliamentary session to discuss about balloons, led by Olive Oyl who even days after that, was still nagging for an apology.

No dear Olive. We don’t want an apology. We need cheaper spinach.

Never has there been a more annoying and irrelevant congregation of lickspittles to sit in Parliament than this bunch of over-paid cooks and waitresses whose only expertise is to dish out lip service.

Frankly speaking, I could get a better lip service for $40 from the backlane of Geylang.

Just observe the recent Parliamentary sitting to debate on the speech written by Cabinet and read out by the President. Bold this. Bold that. The only thing bold is their temerity to regurgitate decades’ old ideas and plans. I mean when was the first time we heard about changing the education system? Yea that’s right. When LKY was still the PM.

And they wanted to talk about being bold when they were too chicken to even name a potential PM amongst themselves.

This arrogance perhaps stems from their sense of invincibility borne no less from their perception that the opposition are a bunch of `The Suck’ which, to be fair is not far from the truth. But the sad state of the opposition shouldn’t be the reason for the PAP to suck more. Because when push comes to shove, when the people has had enough of bullshit, tsunami will happen.

So what are the similarities between BN and PAP? Let us count the ways:

 

  1. Being led by a scandal-ridden PM who has overstayed his welcome who surrounds himself with lackeys too quick to come to his defense even to the point of talking to dead people. And a PM who seems to be lacking in political savviness. See South China Sea. He is damn good with the selfie camera though.
  2. Having a wife who is unpopular. No doubt Ho Ching is more likeable than Rosmah but both are seen as wasting public funds. One on expensive bags, the other on unprofitable investments.
  3. The high cost of living that seems to be spiraling out of control. So what did they do to assuage the people? Increase the price of water by 30%, further GST increase whilst scratching their heads for the solution to the problem.
  4. HDB flats that are getting smaller yet, increasingly unaffordable. The solution? Build smaller and smaller flats; build more rental flats; and glamorizes claustrophobic studio flats as `retirement kampungs’ and what not. If retirees could only afford to live in a flat not much bigger than the SPCA kennels, than the PAP government has failed to fulfill their promises some 40-50 years ago when these same retirees were spritely young men and women told to vote for the PAP for a better future. Their future? When stray dogs got a bigger living space them….
  5. Deluge of foreign talents (hahaha) that shows no signs of abating that has led to social problems, overcrowding, pressure on infrastructure, stagnating wages etc. So what’s the solution? None except to say that the government must be bold and remain steadfast in convincing the people that the foreign talent policy is the best. But what if the people don’t want the population to grow any further? What’s the alternative? None.
  6. The growing income gap when the poor are so poor that even the foreign workers are getting a better deal. At almost the same wages, compared to say the toilet aunties, foreign workers got free lodging, free water, free electricity, free wifi, free cooking gas, free gym, free pest control, and unbridled freedom in the dormitories that have become a hotbed of illegal activities. Want a place to store, buy and sell contrabands? Go to dormitories. Truth!
  7. This income gap is exacerbated by the perception that if you are rich enough, you belong to the almost untouchable class of the elites when even the law seems warped to your favour. And if you are an elite, you can almost be guaranteed to get a cushy job.
  8. And many more.

 

Do not underestimate the anger and sense of helplessness brewing amongst the populace and be deaf to the cacophony of complaints, lulled into a state of complacency and buoyed by a faux aura of invincibility. Your aura is slowly being chipped away by the problems besetting the country that you seem to be unable and unwilling to solve.

If Malaysians could get so fed-up that they were willing to smash the ideological and racial divide to vote for whom they used to hate, Singaporeans could too. If the Malays could vote for the DAP, if the Chinese could vote for PKR, if the PKR supporters could vote for the jailor of their leader just to see the back of BN, Singaporeans too could someday vote for this….

hhh

 

 

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