By: Arthur Ah Ter Kia
I have seen better costume on a getai stage than that trashy outfit they called the National Dress.
Imagine if the women all decided to wear our national dress on National Day and went visiting our friends’ houses. They would only be welcomed if a) our friend lived in Geylang or b) they had a house with a door big enough to allow that dress to pass through.
Since no house in Geylang has that kind of door, (I know. I have worked in Geylang before as an English tutor), the wearer of that dress could only go to the next best place where the doorway would be able to accommodate that thing attached to her ass. Orchard Tower.
That dress does not scream `Welcome To Singapore’.
It screams `Hellooooo welcome to the four floors of whores where all your dreams and fetishes will come true!” in five different languages; English, Tagalog, Vietnamese, Mandarin and Thai.
You won’t even find anyone wearing that dress to Changi Village. No transvestite would touch it with a ten-foot pole.
But at least that is not the worst national dress in the world. That distinction goes to Canada:
Yup. Hockey sticks, scoreboard and all the works. What missing are some dangling balls. I can imagine the scoreboard goes `ding’ and displays `Home 3 : 0 Guest’ and Miss Canada saying, “Times up. That will be four-hundred dollars”.
Thank god for us straight men that Mr. Universe does not have a national dress costume segment. Or someone somewhere is going to design a national costume like below. I have to warn you that it is nsfw. Not only is it not safe for work, it is definitely not safe for my eyes. After the jump…