Don’t Be Like Thai Teens Who Use Over-sized Condoms; Let Us Teach Singapore Punks On How To Get The Right Fit

Condom-banana

But first, say no to underaged sex!

By: Arthur Ah Ter Kia

In a statement ahead of Valentine’s Day, Thailand Ministry of Public Health warned that STIs among 10-19 year olds had increased almost five times in the last 10 years.

Said the statement: “It is due to the fact that only 43 per cent (of teenagers) use condoms — and also because they choose condoms that are too big for their actual sizes.”

But never fret Singapore punks. We will teach you how to get the right fit. But first make sure you are not underaged ok? If you are underaged, just do the thing that will make you go blind if you do it too much.

This is also for the old virgins.

Note: We do not encourage teenage sex. But they will do it anyway. So might as well teach them rather than to sweep it under the carpet.

Find the right fit. Most condoms fit the average penis, which is four to seven inches long. Try on a regular-sized condom and determine how it fits. If it rolls on easily and stays firmly in place, you’re probably fine wearing regular-sized condoms. If feels loose and seems to slip, go for a smaller size. If it’s tight to the point of being painful or looking like it’s going to tear, try on a bigger size. Trying on different sizes is really the best way to find out what fits you best. You can look up condom sizes online on specialty websites.

The shape of a condom also factors into how it fits. Different brands come in slightly different shapes, so again, it’s a good idea to experiment and find out what kind works best with the shape of your penis. In a pinch, any shape will likely fit; it’s just a matter of which one ends up feeling the best and most natural.

If you’re buying condoms for someone else, getting an average size is usually a safe bet. If you know your partner is extraordinarily large or small, you can get a few backups just in case.

Measure:

  1. In order to accurately measure penis size, first you must have an erect penis (since penis size when flaccid is not an accurate measurement).
  2. Measure Penis Length with a ruler or measuring tape. Position the ruler or measuring tape at the base of your penis (where it attaches to your body – make sure to press into the pubic bone as far as you can because fat can actually hide the length of your penis).
  3. Measure Penis Girth with a piece of string (or something similar) or a soft measuring tape. Gently wrap the string one time around the thickest part of the shaft/body of your erect penis (yes, it still needs to be erect!).

Note: Whilst performing step (1) above, you might feel compelled to finish the job. Then you win liao lor!

Fit:

Small Condoms

Fits Length: 3 Inches – 6 Inches

Fits Girth: 4 Inches – 5 Inches

Examples: Any condom represented as small or snug.

Regular Condoms

Fits Length: 4 Inches – 7 Inches

Fits Girth: 5 Inches – 6 Inches

Examples: Any condom that does not specify a size.

Large Condoms

Fits Length: 5 Inches – 8 Inches

Fits Girth: 6 Inches – 7 Inches

Examples: Any condom represented as large or magnum.

X-Large Condoms

Fits Length: 6 Inches – 9 Inches

Fits Girth: 7 Inches – 8 Inches

Examples: Any condom represented as extra-large or XL.

FYI: I use XL

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