Aaah That’s Why TRS Is Like Japanese Porn!

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Debbie Ai Does Singapore……

By: Meena Current

I used to have a torrid one-year love affair with a Japanese engineer when he was in Singapore for an MRT project. It was sordid because I guess, days spent boring tunnels would make anyone a little frisky.

He was a sex machine. He was good. I am not saying that I was dickmatized like Jamie Yeo because I didn’t leave my husband to get married to him. And to say that I was dickmatized over a Japanese man is like saying that I enjoy my coffee cup getting stirred by a MacDonald’s plastic stirrer. All I can say is that he was good with his tongue although he couldn’t speak much English.

It was during my time with him that I was introduced to Japanese porn. To be more precise, it was during times in between a few rounds of `coffee’ when he needed his stirrer re-charged and my cup drained.

I don’t know what it is with Japanese porn. It is like trying to make love while Guns and Roses’ Sweet Child O’ Mine is playing full blast and you are trying to fantasize about Salman Khan humping on your nalgas. It is loud, distracting and fake.

I mean, if you have ever done it with a Japanese man, you’d understand. Who would believe that something that size could make your whole world shake and your mouth to scream for God to come and rescue you? But obviously some people would and that’s why we have a multi-billion dollar Japanese porn industry.

The Japanese-owned trash site The Real Singapore is very much like Japanese porn. It has everything. A Japanese actress, an actor with incestuous paedophilic tendencies and a fluffer (go google it) who dressed up like a transvestite.

Add to the mix, over-the-top articles that scream for attention, faked and embellished statistics in place of plastic boobs to cover-up for the inadequacies and sex-toys, lots of it, in the form of imagined letter-writers.

And don’t forget the supporting cast of a gay holidaymaker, a wash-out politician, a Presidential candidate for that little bit of political intrigue, someone with the moniker triple-H for those who appreciate that kind of kinkiness, a balding cheat, a nerdy burger-flipper who is basically, basically an engineer and lots more. And you can be sure to be served up an orgy to ravage your common sense and send your intelligence dribbling out of your orifice leaving you weak and stupid.

And the screams. Don’t forget the screams. The louder it is, the more it will be a turn-on to the perverts watching the show and make them shout `more, more, more’ leaving them satisfied so that they will come back for `more, more, more’.

As for me, I’d prefer watching the Parliamentary report. Nothing like watching S Shanmugam giving a soft tongue lashing with that sexy voice of his to take me to heaven and back.

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