Hide Your Virgins! – Sabah To Conduct Cleansing Ritual At Mount Kinabalu To Prevent Future Earthquakes

virgin

The hell is that….?

Sabah’s Deputy Chief Minister, Joseph Kitingan has blamed the recent earthquake that has so far claimed 11 lives to the action of Western tourists who had stripped naked near Mount Kinabalu’s summit last month.

Speaking of which, we would like to blame the 2004 tsunami on the fisherman who was seen peeing in the sea shortly before the tragedy. And oh. We believe in Santa Claus.

On May 30, pictures of five naked men on the mountain ­surfaced on social media, followed by a picture of the 10 tourists – including four women – undressing near the south peak of Mount Kinabalu.

picnudekinabalu

The tourist ignored the warnings from their mountain guide, calling him “stupid” and telling him to “go to hell”, when he pleaded with them to stop as they took off all their clothes and posed for pictures.

Kitingan said that a cleansing ritual will be conducted on the mountain to appease the mountain Gods to prevent future earthquakes.

He did not give any details as to how the cleansing ritual would be conducted but from watching old tarzan movies, it would inevitably involve scantily clad virgins.

So if you are a virgin, hide!

And if you are an old virgin, go and lose it already!

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