All Aboard The Hype Train – The S-league


By: B Goode

As lovers all over the world got suckered by the business corporations to celebrate something that should be celebrated every single effing day, finding a reason to don that edible undies and to have sex on the balcony (I did that once and boy was it….. interesting), the FAS has been busy trying to fool Singaporeans into supporting the S (pronounced ass) League.

Call me cynical but the S-League is dead. Apart from the punters and bookies and a couple of hundreds die-hard supporters, nobody else is interested in the S-League. You don’t spend millions of dollars just to keep a few entertained, and a few more employed.

The FAS wants us to give the S-league a chance. The fact is, if a chance has been given for more than ten years, and it still doesn’t work, then you know that it’s a dead horse. There is no point to continue flogging.

And you know there is something wrong when they tried to flog Jermaine Pennant (who?) as if he is some sort of a football cult hero. Jermaine Pennant, for all intent and purposes, is a dead horse. Just because he plied his trade in the English League before doesn’t mean he is good. He is not. He is at best below average.

And don’t get me started on the Fandi brothers. Their father is a fantastic footballer. They unfortunately are not. Oh by the way. I wonder how’s their academic studies? One is fifteen if I recalled correctly.

What I am trying to say is that, if they needed players like Jermaine Pennant and the Fandi brothers to hype up a dead league, then they are teetering on committing false advertising.

Football is a tribal sport. You need tribalism for a football league to work. The rivalry between Manchester United and Liverpool for example, dates back to the war of the roses. Barcelona vs Real Madrid has a lot to do with Catalonia’s assertion of independence.

Tampines vs Woodlands? Oh my estate is cleaner than yours!

But if you didn’t have the tribal factor, people would still go to watch a local football match for the entertainment.

I went to one of their matches once. I was so bored that I almost fell asleep. The only reason why I didn’t was the pesky gnats that were flying around. It was that bad. I wished I had spent the money to watch batman instead.

So I say, let the S-League die a natural death, and channel the millions of government grants to other sports. The era of football as our national obsession is gone. No amount of embellishment and false advertising will make the stadiums full again.

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