By: B Goode
So someone dangled live mynah from his window to scare the bird after it defecated in his Yishun home.
The AVA was alerted and gave the man a warning.
You’d think that the case would just be filed under some of the quirky acts unique to Singapore. You know. Like if you were caught stealing, you might be let off if you also happened to be a drunkard. Or if you sued the government and lost, your court fees would be waived because…reasons.
But not in the bird abuse case. Singapore’s very own tree-hugging MP Louis Ng swooped down from his high-perch to express his disappointment at the AVA’s “light” response.
And he added that the incident might have “psychological repercussions for the bird.”
He said what?
I have to re-read that a few more times and each time with a cup of even stronger coffee to make sure that I read it right. The final time I read it, I was practically chewing on coffee beans.
I would like to ask our honourable Professor in bird psychology what sort of psychological problems would that be? Depression? Suicidal thoughts? Split-personality? Low self-esteem?
And if what he said was true, might I ask what the symptoms would be like? Would the bird be flying in circles quacking like a duck? Or would it attempt suicide by jumping from Marina Bay Sands? It being a bird, that would have been hilarious.
And what about those birds caged at Jurong Bird Park? Or the polar bear in the zoo that has never seen snow in its whole life? Or the dolphins in SEAquarium? Wouldn’t they too be suffering from psychosis?
Jokes aside, Louis Ng and his bird-brained psychology are symptomatic of all that is wrong with the animal lover movement in Singapore. They simply couldn’t comprehend that not all animals are alike. Not all animals should be protected at all costs.
Take the case of the mynah for example. It is not native to Singapore. It originated from India. It is to be considered as an introduced pest. In fact in Australia, this species is destroyed on sight because it creates havoc to the natural fauna and flora. They are considered as rats with wings.
But not here in Singapore. Louis Ng and his tree-hugging friends love them so much that these birds are allowed to even feed from your plates in hawker centres, to roost on trees and shit on your cars, and apparently to also enter your house and defecate in it.
Try eliminating those damn pests and Louis Ng will accuse you of causing mental anguish to his beloved feathered friends.
But most importantly I would like to ask this very pertinent question.
What is Louis Ng’s job scope as an MP? Is it to take care of the well-being of the animals or to look after the welfare of his constituents who voted for him?
If say I’ve got a problem with birds roosting on my window sill and I went to him to complain, I wouldn’t be surprised if he advised me to move out so that his feathered friends could roost undisturbed.
And please don’t tell him that I had roasted pigeons last night.