Dear Ah Mu. Election Threats Are Soooo 1990s


By: B Goode

When I read the news that cultural-appropriator and the PAP’s candidate for Bukit Batok, Ah Mu (birth name: Murali Pillai) said that the slated $1.9m (Apa? $1.9m only? – laughed Najib) infrastructure improvements for Bukit Batok would be forfeited if he was not elected MP, I was suddenly yanked back to the 1990s when a prata had cost 50cts and the PM was Panjang (birth name: Goh Chok Tong).

Some people argued that he was just offering election carrots. (Apa? Just carrots?) Oh just stfu Najib…Ali.

But the point is; they are not his carrots unless that $1.9m came from his own pocket or PAP’s own war-chest.

It was akin to Phua Chu Kang telling me that he’d not renovate my house if I didn’t engage him as the contractor. It is a classic example of an argument between a horse and a cart.

And my reply would be: “You can go and bury yourself in Lim Chu Kang lah Phua Chu Kang. I’ll get Choa Chu Kang instead.”

*Ok. I’ll find my way out. I seriously must stop watching PCK reruns.

Back in the 1990s, I voted for the PAP because I couldn’t bear to see my late mother who was suffering from diabetes and asthma struggling to climb up and down the four flights of stairs. Unfortunately she died some 2 years before the lift was built. I didn’t blame anyone for her death but I cursed and swore at the PAP for using public funds to decide whose sick mother got to use the lift first. Until now I’d still spit whenever I was at East Coast Park.

And I wasn’t the only one who was angry. Many others did too and as a result, PAP’s share of the popular votes plummeted.

So to Murali, my advice is, play it clean. Play it fair.

The by-election is yours to lose anyway.

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