By: B Goode
Truth be told, I don’t know if my MP is working part-time or full-time. I am not even sure if he is working at all. And depending on what day of the week you asked me, I might not even remember his name.
I have never seen him around my block since the day I voted for him. I don’t know where his office is. Only once did I catch a glimpse of him on TV attending a parliamentary meeting. Even then, I suspected he was nodding off.
But I don’t care. As long as my lift is working full-time, my corridor lights are functioning, my estate is clean and the bushes trimmed regularly, I am happy.
Except for this bloody flock of pigeons that roost on my window sill leaving behind shit and feathers and I am sure, bird-flu virus as well. I have been complaining to the town council for months now and nothing has been done because apparently my MP is also a tree-hugger.
The always affable don’t-kick-a-man-when-he-is-down Dr Chee Soon Juan said that if he was elected MP for Bukit Batok, he’d be working full time. God knows where he’s going to find the time in-between his busy schedule of being a top-selling author, sole bread winner, family man, awesome leader of an intellectual political party, champion of the downtrodden, popular speaker at international political conventions et ceterasarcasm.
But I shall let it slide.
In case you do not know because you are unemployed like Dr Chee, most companies have the year-end appraisal for their employees. In one of the columns, is a category called `Delegation’. It is to assess how much work you give to your colleagues and subordinates. Initially I thought the more you delegated, the more it meant that you were lazy and a tai-chi master. On the contrary, it meant that somehow or rather you were good. Don’t ask me how it works. I always got a (5) and I was happy to continue passing the buck around whilst I surf porn work on my power-point.
Since Dr Chee said that he’d be a full-time MP, it could only mean that he didn’t know the power of delegation. A leader is like an artist. He’d draw the big picture but the canvas, easel, paints and brushes would have to come from someone else. Unless he is Vincent Van Gogh. But Van Gogh was insane. Hmmm…
So whenever I hear that someone will be a full-time MP, I will always have this perception:
- He is not persuasive,
- He is lying,
- His job is damn easy,
- He doesn’t trust his colleagues and subordinates,
- He is a pain-in-the-ass micro manager,
- He has never worked before,
- Have I mentioned he is lying….?
I’d rather have an MP who played golf everyday as long as I didn’t have to wash the pigeon shit off my window sill every morning.