Between King Kong And A Child Which One Would You Choose?


By: B Goode

So here’s a quick rundown:

A 6-yr old child fell into a gorilla enclosure in Cincinnati Zoo. Afraid that the animal might harm the child, the zookeepers decided to shoot it dead because tranquilizing it would be insufficient. Savage beast dead; boy saved and you’d think that it would be a story with a happy ending.


Some people; tree-huggers and animal lovers, are actually condemning the zoo for killing the gorilla. Never mind that a boy’s life was saved. One of the reasons was because the gorilla was cute. You know what else is cute?



That incident exposed the thoughtlessness of animal lovers. They would protest any action they deemed to be against animals even if that action was meant for the good of humans.

Which inevitably brings me to pigeons. If I was the zookeeper during the incident, and if a pigeon happened to fly by, I’d shoot the pigeon first, then the gorilla before saving the boy. Yes. My hatred towards pigeons knows no bounds.

Pek Kio food centre was recently closed down for 2 days because of a mass food poisoning. The authorities apparently had left no stones unturned in order to find the source of the rotavirus. They couldn’t find any.

However, had they looked up to the ceiling they would notice pigeons and their dastardly cousins the mynahs roosting on the metal bars. Birds being birds, they shit every five minutes. If the shit didn’t land in the pots of gravy, soup and what not, or god forbid, in your plate of mee rebus, they’d be left on the metal bars to dry into powder form. A gust of wind would then disperse the dry powdery shit into the air and would of course end up in your food and drinks.

There are pigeons everywhere in Singapore now. Most food centres and coffeeshops are infested by them. As I’ve said before, these birds are not native to Singapore. They are imported pests and are unhygienic. The authorities are not doing anything about them because they are afraid of the backlash from the hippies.

Trafalgar Square was renowned for its pigeons because, I have to admit, fluttering pigeons look good in photographs and postcards. But it took the British hundreds of years to finally realise that pigeons are bad for health. So if you go to Trafalgar Square today, you will not see a single pigeon. They have all been, how do I say, deported to somewhere else.

We should all love animals. But if those animals threatened our health and lives, the animals should be exterminated. Period.

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