We Don’t Need No Edukation


By: B Goode

Students beating up other students. Students having sex-themed orientation camps. Students taking upskirt photos of teachers .Teachers resigning in exasperation.

WTF is happening in our schools?

To be honest, nothing much has changed from the schools of yesteryears because boys will be boys, and girls will be easily impressed.

When I was a student (Yes. I got study wan oso ok…) we were as incorrigible as today’s youngins’ because naughtiness is a trait that transcends time.

Back in my day (*shakes cane), public caning was a weekly affair. Getting whacked on the knuckles or palm with a ruler or the end of the feather-duster was almost an hourly affair. Standing on chairs (lol), detention classes and getting suspended were all part and parcel of school life back then.

Truancy was part of our curriculum because the perimeter fencing was non-existent and so was the security guard. The prefects who were supposed to maintain law and order were the sissy-types. One stare and they’d look the other way. So we’d run out to go to the nearby jungle to fuck spiders or `lastik’ birds. Louis Ng hasn’t been born yet so there wasn’t anybody to shout animal cruelty.

And occasionally we’d come across students from the neighbouring school and a street battle would ensue.

Although back then (*pops statin) we didn’t have camera-phones, there were occasions when we’d drop a pencil or two to take an upskirt peep of the teachers during an era when mini-skirts were the rage.

All in all, I have written more lines than Lindsay Lohan had snorted them.

Despite all that, l must say I turned up okay. I didn’t end up in jail. Not yet at least.

So as far as students discipline is concerned, nothing much has changed except for one thing.

Back then (*cracks joints), when we were disciplined by the teachers or principal, we wouldn’t dare inform our parents let alone complain to them because we’d not be getting any sympathy. Instead, we’d get punished more severely. The type of punishment that nowadays would be categorised as child abuse. Damn liberals!

Now however, the teachers are afraid to discipline the students because the students will cry to their mamas and papas and their mamas and papas will shoot letters of complaints all the way to the MOE.

Parents should trust teachers and schools more. It is funny to think that some parents who couldn’t even pass their O levels thought that they could do a better job at educating their children than the professionals.

This is not to say that parents should leave everything to the schools. They should get involved in so far as monitoring the students’ progress, in choosing the schools and perhaps the courses and to provide the optimal home environment for their children. But they should leave the bulk of academic education which includes school discipline to the professionals. The last thing parents should do is to project their own unfulfilled dream onto their children. I mean, if you were too stupid to be a doctor, why would you pressure your child to be one.

At the end of the day, a child’s education is a holistic process that involves everyone. But it can only be ideal for the students if everyone understands their own roles and not to impinge on each other’s turf.

I would like to take this opportunity to wish all students who are taking their final year exams all the best and to remember one thing:

If you fail in your exams, it is not the end of the world.

You can always be an unappreciated blogger….

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