Singapore – Malaysia Spat : War Is Not A Computer Game, Kids!

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By: B. Goode

So the estranged lovers are at it again eh? Squabbling over who gets what. Get a room already!

But you guys should look at the reactions of some of our younger generation to this latest spat.

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It was as if they were itching for the issue to escalate into a full-blown war.

LET’S WHOOP SOME ASS!!!

But who could blame them? If I were to grow up fed by a constant stream of pixels and avatars fighting in a world of make-believe where no one dies, or if they did, they’d just resurrect to fight another day, I too would have the same itch as this generation of gamers.

FIGHT! HADUKEN!!

But kids. War in the real world is not the same as war on your computer or smartphone screens where you play with your friends in the comfort of your own home or whilst chilling and leeching free wi-fi in Starbucks. Cheapos!

In real war, people will die. For good. They will not resurrect to fight another day.

In real war, people will get injured and they will not miraculously get better by drinking a health potion.

There can only be one Jesus.

In real war, you are the zombie!!

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Don’t ever hope for this latest issue to escalate into a full-blown war. So what if we won a battle or two? Can we win the war? If the Americans couldn’t all-out win the wars in Vietnam, Korea, Afghanistan, Iraq etc, what made you think that Singapore could easily win this war that you so craved? At least the Americans could withdraw with tails between their legs back to their country. Where are we going to withdraw to? Pulau Tekong?

Let me put it in a way where you can better understand.

In a war, you will be huddled close together in an MRT bunker deep underground without shower facilities. Ok maybe that’s not too scary. How about with no wi-fi?! Oooo shudders!

In a war, there will be no maid to manage your life because chances are she has been recalled back to her country. Scary right?

In a real war, your food is going to be damn expensive because hey guess what? Most of your food comes from Malaysia! No Macdonald’s for you because they’d only accept American dollars or gold…

In fact scratch all that.

In a real war, you will be recalled by the Army to fight the war! If you got injured or die due to heat exhaustion or a runaway tank, there’d be no special committee to discuss why you got injured or die. Your mom and dad, if they were still alive, would not be there to kaopei kaobu to the government.

And if you are a woman. May God bless you. All the shopping malls would be closed.

This is not to say that you shouldn’t fight if war did really come. You should, while I make myself comfortable in the bunker.

But war should always be a last resort because in a war, no one wins.

There will be no sign flashing in the sky to say:

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