Singapore Presidential Election 2017 : Beware The Backlash


By: B Goode


If you think that this coming Presidential Election (PE) is all about Malay, Malayness, the Constitution and what not, well think again.

Anyway, what’s the big fuss about whether someone is a Malay or not? Just check the NRIC lah….duh! Continue reading

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HADUKEN! : Jeannette Chong-Aruldoss Assaulted By M Ravi With….Handbag And Shoes!


By: B Goode

In a facebook post this afternoon, lawyer-cum-politician Jeannette Chong-Aruldoss alleged that another lawyer-cum-politician M Ravi assaulted her in full view of 3 of M Ravi’s burly henchmen. Continue reading

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GRAPHIC : Video Of Accident At Woodlands St 12



Sometimes in life, no matter how careful you were, it only needed one idiot to kill you.



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Lim Tean : The Making Of A Political Leech



By: B Goode

Politicians are like Justin Bieber. You either love them or loathe them. And they need a platform to showcase their ideas, and in the case of Justin Bieber, artistry. It is all part of the game.

But some politicians are like hangers-on. They look for platforms after platforms to bathe in the limelight, absorb the atmosphere, take selfies to post on Instagram or Facebook to show the world how cool they are. Continue reading

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The Malay Malaise, Role Models And…..Ismail Kassim




By: B Goode

Ismail Kassim, the former ST journalist who is known for his pro-Malaysia spins, is now talking smack about the reserved Presidency. This is the guy who waxes lyrical for Malaysia’s racist pro-Malay bumiputera policy and yet when it comes to Singapore, he is all for meritocracy. Dafug. Continue reading

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Disruptors, Freeloaders And Bad Behaviours


By: B Goode

Why is there the need for banks to spend millions of dollars on security? Why is there the need to have multiple locks on your door?

Short answer : because humans are not angels.

So why do bike-sharing companies have an odd business model that largely depended on humans being good and honest?

Short answer : cost savings.

So if, due to cost savings they allowed their bicycles to not have proper and safe docking places, thus getting strewn all over the place with the risk of being stolen, damaged or thrown from the roof of a HDB block, why should we care? They have gambled on the improbable notion that humans would behave themselves, and when this was proven wrong, they blamed on humans for not behaving themselves. If ever there was a good example of a circular argument, this would be it.

If anything, they were complicit in whatever crimes committed against their bicycles. And yet they had the cheeks to report to the Police to clean up the mess for them. Why should we subsidise their operations by involving the Police? Should banks then ask for similar free Protection of their premises?

It is therefore extremely pleasing to hear that the government is now coming down hard on errant bike sharing companies; seizing the bicycles parked wantonly and I am sure more actions will come.

You see, no matter how sexy the word `disruptors’ might be, they should not be allowed to run their business models without any care or considerations for the rules and regulations of the country. At times, disruptors need to be disrupted too.

Take for example the minimum age requirement for taxi drivers. For whatever reasons, it is set at 30. Yet, pirate Uber and Grab drivers are not subjected to the same rule. If the reason for setting the age at 30 is still valid for taxi drivers, it should be imposed to Uber and Grab too. If not, then it should be removed for all.

`Disruptors’ is indeed a sexy word. They bring in creativity and new ways of doing things. But they should not be allowed to circumvent existing rules and regulations if those rules are still relevant. These disruptors should be treated like any other companies out to do business. If their business model goes contrary to the good of the society and country, then they too should be disrupted.

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Jeannette Chong-Aruldoss : Benevolent Lawyer Or Scheming Politician?


By: B Goode

Most lawyers make good politicians. David Marshal, Lee Kuan Yew, JBJ, Mandela, Gandhi, M Ravi (just to make sure you were paying attention) et al were and are awesome at both. There are a lot of reasons for that but the best one is that they’re articulate and are natural born talkers. They can talk and talk and talk their way into your bedroom if they want, or as the Chinese say, until the bird from the tree rests on your palm.

One lawyer that doesn’t cut it as a politician is Jeannette Chong-Aruldoss.

You might have remembered Jeannette Chong-Aruldoss as the opposition candidate for Mountbatten in the 2011 General Election under the NSP where she lost to PAP candidate Lim Biow Chuan and again in 2015, this time under the SPP where she only managed to garner a miserable 28% of the votes.  From the Reform Party to NSP and currently the Singapore People’s Party, she is your typical political jumping bean. But is this the final piece of the jigsaw for her? Where will she land up next?  The PPP (pee, pee & pee)?  Please make up your mind and decide on the colour you want.

Jeanette is also a lawyer and she represented the Mountbatten Road murderer Kho Jabing where she tried to squash the death sentence by piling on the appeals to the Courts. Finally, she was whacked by the Appeal Court judges for “an attempt to re-litigate a matter which had already been fully argued and thoroughly considered”. In non-legal speak, the Judges were basically saying: “WTF do you take us for? Idiots?”

Why am I writing about Jeannette Chong-Aruldoss you might ask? Well, first and foremost I am bored stiff by the Korean drama. But most importantly, I want to highlight the thin line between awesome lawyer/politician and a bad one.

From what I’ve heard, Jeannette is very picky about the cases that she wants to represent. Where have I heard it from? Well from those who have sought her assistance and from their friends/relatives of course. That’s the beauty about being a lowlife like me. I mix with felons.

Some people who have problems with the law will try to get represented by lawyer/politicians. The main reason for this is that in trying to canvass for support, a lawyer/politician would naturally say something like : “If you have any legal problems, you can call me and I will try to help.”

You’d not hear that sort of thing from a mathematician/politician would you? Imagine PM Lee saying: “Boy. If you have problem with maths, you can call me.” Or engineer/politician like Khaw Boon Wan saying: “If the MRT is having some issues, I am here to solve it.” Oh wait….

The problem with Jeannette is that despite her promises to help the unfortunates with their legal troubles during her politicking rounds, privately she’d pick and choose which cases to represent. It wouldn’t matter whether you were rich or poor. It wouldn’t matter whether you had a chance of winning. What mattered to her most was whether she could get any political mileage out of it. Simply put, she would take on high-profile cases that would put her in the spotlight to boost her flagging political fortune.

Kho Jabing case was one good example. She grabbed it with both hands, and mouth because she knew that it would be sensational and that it would be in the news for days and weeks on end. And because that case also had attracted the libertards of the world, she knew that she’d get international exposure as well. Just imagine if she had won the case.

And then there was the case of Daniel De Costa. He got into trouble with something that had got to do with spreading fake news. What I heard was that someone approached Jeannette to see if she was willing to represent him. Jeannette turned the request down. And the rumour had it that it was because the case wasn’t high profile enough or the price wasn’t right. Of course, it was all hearsay but two things to note. My friends, though they may be lowlifers like me, they are the most honest lowlifers you’ll ever meet. But most importantly, it is the fact that Jeannette’s reputation as a picky, glory-seeking, useless lawyer/politician is gaining traction amongst the grassroot, fast.

Whether it is true or not is up to Jeannette to prove by her conduct. As it stands, she has done nothing to disprove it.

So that’s the difference between a good lawyer/politician and a bad one. A good one will use their innate skills to talk their way into the voters’ heart.

A bad one is Jeannette Chong-Alduross.

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38 Oxley Road Season Finale : 38 Conclusions


By: B Goode

Not in order of merit. In fact, there is no merit whatsoever.

  1. The Prime Minister of Singapore likes to cry. It is never a pretty sight.
  2. Parliament can assume the role of a Judiciary to question the Head of the Executive who in-turn assumes the role of the Judiciary to issue a verdict of innocence on himself. Confused? Me too!
  3. As such, all government legal departments including the Police and the Courts can now be closed because Parliament can do the job for them.
  4. Parliament needs a carpet. A big one.
  5. Whoever that maintains Parliament House needs to check on the smoke-detectors.
  6. Low Thia Khiang needs to learn the art of hammering a nail into a coffin. Skill Level : 1.
  7. Sylvia Lim likes to hunch her back when she speaks. Very unglam.
  8. Indranee Rajah is due for promotion.
  9. Whip or no whip, rice bowls are still evidently more important for the PAP MPs. That is understandable `cos good paying jobs are scarce outside.
  10. It is not over `cos we have yet to hear the fat lady sing.
  11. Speaking of which, MP Rahayu is getting fat.
  12. Forget chemistry. Forget science. Parliament has proven once and for all that blood is indeed thicker than water.
  13. In fact, Parliament has agreed that blood is even thicker than precedents.
  14. `Blood is thicker than water’ will now be accepted as mitigation for people accused of harbouring their criminal relatives because Parliament has said so.
  15. DPM Tharman didn’t say a word. Hmmm..
  16. ESM Goh knows. He knows. He knows more than what he’s telling us.
  17. Heng Swee Keat is able to stand. Congratz!
  18. It only took two days for PM Lee to absolve himself of any wrongdoings. It would take forever to clear his tarnished public image.
  19. And only Lee Kuan Yew himself would be able to return his family’s good name to its former glory. But he’s dead. RIP.
  20. 38 Oxley Road is now officially a haunted house for the Lee’s.
  21. 3802, 3800, 3834 and their permutations are all sold out! Damn!
  22. Tom Cruise will play Lee Hsien Loong if Hollywood decides to turn it into a movie. Brad Pitt as Lee Hsien Yang. Tommy Lee Jones as Lee Wei Ling.
  23. It would be a comedy.
  24. All the possible candidates to replace PM Lee didn’t say a word except Lawrence Wong because he had to explain the deed of gift, and Heng Swee Keat. Yay!
  25. Kudos to DPM Teo for being able to keep his work in the special Cabinet Committee a secret from his boss.
  26. Kudos to both DPM Teo and PM Lee for not casually chit-chatting about the case to each other. Something that not many people can do.
  27. I am running out of points.
  28. Parliament sitting started on time. This proved that if you were not taking the MRT, you could reach your workplace on the dot.
  29. Be right back. Need more beer.
  30. Still drinking.
  31. According to the internet, PM Lee should sue his siblings.
  32. But PM Lee only reads The Straits Times.
  33. PM Lee wants everyone to move on.
  34. But everyone wants PM Lee to move out.
  35. Parliament has decided that 38 Oxley Road is historically important thus cannot suka suka demolish without a special Cabinet Committee being set up.
  36. The National Theatre was demolished just like that to make way for a road.
  37. PM Lee concludes that the air is now clear.
  38. They really need to check on the smoke detectors.

Continue reading

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Indranee Rajah : WOOF!


By: B Goode

There is really nothing wrong to placate your boss. Everyone does it to a certain extent. In fact, I am doing just that by writing this article. My lady boss wants it. So I have to do it to make her happy. Although I could perhaps achieve the same result by just sleeping with her but I don’t dig fat chicks my sweet, curvaceous and stunningly beautiful lady boss is married. And yes she will be reading this and vetting it but I don’t care. Continue reading

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Bilahari Kausikan : A Dinosaur Stuck In The Disco Era


By: B Goode

I am never a fan of Bilahari Kausikan. Nor am I a fan of his former BFF now turned academic nemesis, Kishore Mahbubani. If you trawled their past statements, you’d understand why. They were like a couple of old foggers stuck in an ideological timewarp. What made them more unappealing was their penchant to panic at the slightest event that seemed to threaten their comfort zones. When Brexit happened, they said it would be the end of the world. When Trump happened, they too said it would be the end of the world. They are your typical doom and gloom merchants. Continue reading

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The Radicalized Beard


By: B Goode

In an attempt to assist our Home Minister, S Shanmugam, I did an intensive research into Islamic radicalization; so intensive in fact that I was starting to look at backpacks in a funny way, and to dream of 72 virgins some of whom were boys (weird!). Continue reading

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The Legacy Of LKY : An Ode To A Father


By: B Goode

He wasn’t my father nor was he your father. But we could all agree that Lee Kuan Yew was the father of modern Singapore, and regretfully at the same time the father of three bickering brats. Continue reading

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Bizarre Ramadhan Food Fight


By: B Goode

Singapore is now being swept by a tsunami of gluttony proportion all because of….food. What else? Continue reading

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The Sorry State Of Modern Islam


By: B Goode

At about the same time that a 22-yr old radicalised Muslim Salman Abedi blew himself up in Manchester Arena, some of the most corrupt Muslim leaders in the world gathered with President Trump in Saudi Arabia to do something straight out from 1001 nights; rubbing an orb: Continue reading

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Much A-Moo About Nothing


By: B Goode

All this mooing and cow-pey cow-booing about the price of infant formulas makes me wonder; what did people like Einstein, Gallileo, Newton et al drink when they were infants? I suspect it could be the white liquid coming from these: Continue reading

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Singapore Quirks #1327 : There Are Special Laws For Animals But None For Domestic Helpers


By: B Goode

Over the years, Singapore have seen more domestic helpers (henceforth to be called maids because it means the same thing ffs) passing through this island than migratory birds. And yet whilst there are special laws for birds and animals, there are none for maids. Continue reading

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Singapore Football : Remove The Crutch And Watch It Crawl


By: B Goode

In a country where to be in government, one is expected to write the word `sustainability’ in 100 different languages on a parchment made from the underbelly of a virgin white horse that grazed on the shoots of the freshest ivy that had been kissed by the chill morning breeze on a crystal mountain, and to burn it in a fire from the most fragrant Indian sandalwood, dissolve the ashes in 1819 Cordon Bleau before drinking it, it is almost shocking that the government is still wasting money on football. Continue reading

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TSB Health : Diet Fizzy Drinks Linked To Stroke And Dementia

diet soda

By: Lok Ter Pepe

Well, well, well. They have found something else that we should not take in order to live a healthy life. If this goes on, we might as well just…..die. Continue reading

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Panic On The Dunce Flour


By: B Goode

If I could get just one cent for every suspicious substance I found in the MRT stations, I’d be a millionaire twice over.

Truth. Continue reading

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Otters And Hookers


By: B Goode

I love otters very much. Not as much as I love beavers but that is for another day.

So another Otter got hooked at Marina Bay. I am sure some animal lovers will eventually remove the hook and am very certain that Louis Ng will go a step further and get the hookers too. That’s fine. Whatever floats his boat. Continue reading

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