Much A-Moo About Nothing

cow

By: B Goode

All this mooing and cow-pey cow-booing about the price of infant formulas makes me wonder; what did people like Einstein, Gallileo, Newton et al drink when they were infants? I suspect it could be the white liquid coming from these: Continue reading

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Singapore Quirks #1327 : There Are Special Laws For Animals But None For Domestic Helpers

maid

By: B Goode

Over the years, Singapore have seen more domestic helpers (henceforth to be called maids because it means the same thing ffs) passing through this island than migratory birds. And yet whilst there are special laws for birds and animals, there are none for maids. Continue reading

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Singapore Football : Remove The Crutch And Watch It Crawl

jackpot

By: B Goode

In a country where to be in government, one is expected to write the word `sustainability’ in 100 different languages on a parchment made from the underbelly of a virgin white horse that grazed on the shoots of the freshest ivy that had been kissed by the chill morning breeze on a crystal mountain, and to burn it in a fire from the most fragrant Indian sandalwood, dissolve the ashes in 1819 Cordon Bleau before drinking it, it is almost shocking that the government is still wasting money on football. Continue reading

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TSB Health : Diet Fizzy Drinks Linked To Stroke And Dementia

diet soda

By: Lok Ter Pepe

Well, well, well. They have found something else that we should not take in order to live a healthy life. If this goes on, we might as well just…..die. Continue reading

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Panic On The Dunce Flour

baking

By: B Goode

If I could get just one cent for every suspicious substance I found in the MRT stations, I’d be a millionaire twice over.

Truth. Continue reading

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Otters And Hookers

otter

By: B Goode

I love otters very much. Not as much as I love beavers but that is for another day.

So another Otter got hooked at Marina Bay. I am sure some animal lovers will eventually remove the hook and am very certain that Louis Ng will go a step further and get the hookers too. That’s fine. Whatever floats his boat. Continue reading

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Should The People Be Losing Patience With The Judiciary?

judge dredd

By: B Goode

 

First of all, I have to tip-toe carefully on the side of caution.

This article is not questioning the integrity of our Judges because I truly believe that they are honest and simply exercising the powers given to them. Continue reading

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Headscarves, Public Servants And Turkey

headscarf

By: B Goode

When the Prime Minister takes some time off from taking selfies to discuss about an issue, you jolly well know that it is important. Most recently he waddled into the headscarf controversy that was re-visited by an opposition MP in parliament.

For those of you who didn’t keep abreast of the issue because you had lost your main source of news since The Strait’s Times imposed the 15 free articles per month, here goes: Continue reading

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Tan Cheng Bock : Clutching At Straws

strawman

By: B Goode

Tan Cheng Bock is at it again; being salty and throwing his toys out of the pram just because he couldn’t be the next person to wave at the crowd during National Day President.

Oh how the mighty has fallen. From being a well-respected Doctor/MP to becoming a passive-aggressive prick nitpick. Continue reading

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Amos Yee : Leave The Manchild Alone Already

amos yee

By: B Goode

So he is gone. Amos Yee is now a refugee in the US.

The petulant potty-mouth has said some mean things in the past for which he has been duly punished. And if Gods exist, since his offensive remarks were mostly directed at them, Big Bad Bubba or whatever you might call the guy who meted out punishment in hell, will be waiting for him with a hot iron rod in his hand or something. Or a nail-encrusted dildo. Yup. That will be it. Make it two. One for his mouth. Continue reading

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Public Breastfeeding : Libertards And Their Me Me Me Attitude

breastfeed_1

By: B Goode

To the woman who exposed her breast to feed her baby in the MRT for everyone to see, she might think that she was being edgy and that it was a natural thing to do. To many others, she was just being indecent and plain lazy.

You know what else is natural? Taking a dump. But you don’t see anyone doing that in the MRT do you? Continue reading

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TSB EXCLUSIVE : Nude Picture Of Han Hui Hui Leaked!

hhh

 

By: B Goode

Han Hui Hui claimed that she was strip-searched in front of male prison officers. Her claim was totally debunked by MHA via video and other evidence.

Han Hui Hui epitomizes what is currently wrong with Singapore activists. They tell grandfather stories, lie, fake their own miseries and indulge in silly and childish behaviours thus trivialising the time-honoured tradition of activism and insulting the true activists of the world.

Who in their right mind would want to see Han Hui Hui naked? If her allegation was true, I am sure those officers who had the misfortune of seeing her naked body would have turned gay instantaneously. And any lesbian officers would have turned straight. Anybody else would have vowed a life of celibacy.

But if you insist on seeing her naked picture, it is after the jump. You have been warned! Continue reading

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Old School Preaching Just Doesn’t Work Anymore

hate

By: B Goode

The case of the Muslim preacher who gave an inflammatory sermon against the Christians and the Jews has, rightly so, caused much consternation and debate across the country. And by country I meant the internet. Even Home Minister Shanmugam has asked for the debate to end as the case is under Police investigations.

But since PM Lee has said that he doesn’t appreciate `yes men’, I am going to say no to him.

From what I’ve heard from my Muslim friends, the type of inflammatory sermon as displayed by the Muslim preacher was prevalent in the early days up to the early eighties when MUIS started to distribute prepared texts for Friday sermons.

During those days, attacking the so called `enemies’ of Islam came with the territory. In Khawspeak, it was `common but not uncommon also’. It was the remnant of the sermons conducted by the first Muslim preachers and Imams who set foot on this region; the Arabs. Their local successors followed suit and soon it became sort of the standard in Friday sermons.

In fact, even now, Friday sermons in the Middle-east and in most parts of Malaysia and Indonesia are still peppered and embellished with phrases such as `victory against the Christians and the Jews’. It came as I said, with the territory because it was part and parcel of the fear-tactics employed by the old preachers in order to get Muslims to comply with Islamic laws. Don’t do this or you will go to hell. Do this and you will go to hell. Hell is hot. Hell is….hellish!

“But Hell has Hellboy, bro!” – says the nerd.

“But all my friends will be in hell, bro!” – says me.

And those words would be shouted out loud. As my friend said, it was more to wake the congregation up from slumber. I mean, who doesn’t snooze during sermons be it in Church, Temples, Mosques or Parliament?

But ever since MUIS started to distribute prepared texts to all Mosques to be read during Friday sermons, those kind of fearmongering subsided. Now it is all about heaven and love. Don’t do this and you will go to heaven. Do this and you will go to heaven. Heaven is….heavenly!

“But I will have no friends in heaven, bro!” – says me.

It is the kind of message more palatable and acceptable to the increasingly progressive Muslim community in Singapore. It might put you to sleep but it is better than to cause you to hate your non-Muslim neighbours.

So that kind of old school sermons that has gotten the preacher in trouble has got no place in a modern progressive society. Something that many have missed in the heat of the discussion is that, the video was recorded and a complaint was lodged by a Muslim.

For what’s worth, that is a good sign that even the Muslim community in Singapore will not tolerate such inflammatory and divisive teachings.

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What Price Waterloo?

waterloo

By: B Goode

There are not many things in this world simpler than this life’s equation:

No Water = You Die

Water, or the lack of it is in fact everyone’s waterloo, not only ours. Continue reading

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MINDEF Data Theft : So Much For Smartnation

hacker

By: B Goode

When the Smartnation initiative was first announced, the paranoid amongst us along with some techgurus raised red flags above the confetti strewn by Vivian Balakrishnan. We warned that if not properly designed especially in the security aspect, it could lead to all kinds of malicious repercussions. Continue reading

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So What Is A Bad Muslim?

bad

By: B Goode

There was this news that was trending a few days ago about a Malay-Muslim in Malaysia who was accused of being not-Muslim enough. Actually the incident happened in 2008 but nowadays if you wanted to be in the news, just report something controversial about Islam or Muslims and BAM! you’d be trending regardless if the news was 10-years old. (Ed Note: Thus the title of this article /giggles)

Koreans eat dogs? Meh! Nothing new.

Muslims touch dogs? OMG! News headlines for weeks on end. Continue reading

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Syonan Gallery : The Art And Fart Of Naming Convention

syonan

By: B Goode

So our Propaganda Minister, Yaacob Ibrahim finally admitted defeat and decided to re-name Syonan Gallery into something loooooooong…

But the name change happened not before he gave a good fight in trying to explain stuff. Continue reading

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CFE Report : The Bold Alternatives

prostitute

By: B Goode

The report by the Committee on Future Economy (CFE) is already out. It was old news I know. But I had to spend a few days just to google all the big words and phrases used within. If the late Goh Keng Swee had vetted the report, he would have given it a big fat zero for the lack of brevity.

And maybe a 2/10 for substance. Continue reading

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Even A Tree Will Die Someday

tembusu

RIP

By: B Goode

This Valentine’s Day, I thought of going to the Botanic Gardens to snap a photo of myself under the giant Tembusu tree just like I did so many years ago. Just me and my hand.

But alas, the tree is gone, bringing with it the life of a woman. RIP. Continue reading

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A Malay President In September But Is Any Malay Keen?

halimah2

By: B Goode

So that’s it. There will be a Malay President this September.

Although it is still seven months away, by now there should already be one or two candidates who would have put their names in the hat. I am not going to flog a dead horse but Dr Adrian Tan had his name up in the sky way, way before the sky was even created. He was like that guy who queued for Samsung Note52. Continue reading

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